How did Princess Diana cross the road? Through the windshield

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Why does Santa Clause eat cookies? Because cookies not part of a balanced diet.

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Q. How do you kill a dumb blonde? A. Shoot her.

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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Q: WHY DID GOD MAKE ASIANS? A: NO FREIKEN IDEA

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How do you get a Jew in a car? Ask him to get in. How do you get him out? (If they say tell him to get out) Tell him Hitler is driving (If not) Ask him to kindly step out of the vehicle.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An Afronaut

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, as I wasn't there, and frankly I wonder why a chicken was anywhere near a road anyway

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Someone else's.

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*knock knock* Who's there? *Gorilla* Gorilla who? *Gorillas don't hoot, owls hoot*

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What to you call a Muslim person on a plane? A passenger

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Why is it impossible to travel faster than the speed of light? Because it travels pretty darn fast.

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What is funnier than onion gravy? Mushroom gravy.

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YEAH WELL SMELL YOUR BREATH U BELLEND

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When life gives you lemons, you realise that life isn't a physical object and therefore you have problems. Have a nice day.

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once there where 3 guys on a beach. they found a bottle and a fetis came out.. later they found out 2 of the 3 had cancer and the 3rd was a vegetable.

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What's an Anti Joke?

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Billy and Jeff wanted to go on an adventure so they planned a safari in Africa. Everything was going as planned until they were in a sticky situation: whether to cross a narrow bridge above the crocodiles or not. Billy tells Jeff "Hey whats the worst thing that can happen?" Jeff was diagnosed with cancer and died the next morning.

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A black man logs on to facebook. He checks his news feed then logs off

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*******A CELL JOKE******* Mommy Ribosome and Daddy Mitochondria are watching baby nucleus play around in the cytoplasm, when all the sudden baby nucleus falls down and breaks its cell wall. Mommy ribosome is like freaking out like, "OH NO< WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WE NEED TO TAKE HER TO THE E.R.". Then Daddy Mitochondria says, "The smooth ER or the rough ER???"

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Your mumma is so fat she was mistaken for an opera singer in a quite awkward confrontation. she was embarrassed and walked out crying

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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why did the indian kill the buffalo? he was suffering from a psychological disorder and took to killing innocent animals in order to relieve the pent up rage caused by repressed memories of childhood abuse.

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DESERT

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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