What's worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

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Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

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whats a dick a dick

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What's funny about a blond, a brunette, and a red-head, drunk in a Cadillac? Everyone knows integration is a myth.

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Q: Whats the difference between a friend and a bestfriend? A: The other one has best in front of it dumb A$$

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Why did the surrealist go to the doctor? Knock Knock.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I bought a Jeep

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yfygcugyuyc

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Roses are red Violets are blue NO SHIT EINSTEIN!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is blind and death, making her oblivious of her surroundings and would be a danger to fellow commuters. -mac

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Three blondes are stranded on an island. They all die from starvation.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did a second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did a third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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If the opposite of Pro is Con, whats the opposite of progress?

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Sometimes I hope into bed and pretend I'm a carrot!!!!

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69

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What do gay guys eat? Normal food like every other human being.

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A man walks into a bar and says "hey bartender wanna help me out!" The bartender says "no."

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What's green and has four wheels? A dolphin. I lied about it having four wheels. I lied about it being green. I lied about the whole thing.

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A straight A star quarterback in his senior year of high school was about to throw the game winning pass in his season's last game and complete the school's undefeated record when he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

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Women's rights.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time to call animal control.

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Why do the piglets have their heads down low? Because they are ashamed that their mom is fat.

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What's the difference between a muffin and a scone? One's a muffin.

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What do a grape and a plane have in common? They both have wings... except for the grape!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops