Walruses are basically saber-toothed seals. That does not affect the fact that they are awesome.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a beer, drinks it and walks out.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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What's fourteen inches long and purple and can make a woman scream all night? crib death

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What's the difference between a black guy and a piece of chicken? They were once both alive and innocent. I lied about the black guy.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely ask him to come down

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What dud the baseball player do when he struck out? Walked back to the bench

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Chuck Noris

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Your momma is so fat that when she fell over, she couldn't get back up without help, and she probably got several bruises.

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Q.What do you call a black man flying a plane? A. A black pilot you racist bastard

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What has four legs and starts with the letter D? A cow.

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Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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What did one dog say to the other dog? Woof woof

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cancer

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R.I.P. Steve Jobs

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If you are riding on a broomstick and it breaks in the middle of the ocean... How many pieces of toast does it take to fill a light house? Purple, because Oranges cannot fly.

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Why can't Jimmy talk? He's dead.

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Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

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What is white and stands in the corner? A refridgerator who has been very bad...

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What has feet but cannot walk? What has a beak but cannot peck? What has wings but cannot fly? A dead bird.

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Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?? Theres one less drunk.

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What does a Jewish Santa Clause say? This scenario is highly improbable as Jews celebrate Hanukkah and not Christmas.

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops