What's red and eats tulips? Your face!

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Why did my brother drive the speed limit? Because it's the law

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a little boy takes his lacrosse stick to his mom and says "hey mom this is bob" the mom says "hi bob" and she says to her son "does bob say hi back?" and the boy says "no mom. hes a lacrosse stick."

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Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Sir, your wife has been killed. Please open the door so that we may discuss this matter. The man then opens the door and listens to the tale of how a disgruntled worker opened fire in a grocery store, killing 13 people including his wife. Unable to cope with this and the fact both his parents passed away earlier that year he later hangs himself soon after the police leave.

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Your mother is so fat when she jumps she comes backs down.

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Q: Have you heard from that guy who dropped a piano on his head? A: No one has, he dropped a piano on his head.

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what worse than a worm in your apple being kidnapped by hores and eaten alive by rabbits

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Grammer is very important

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Knock knock Who's there Ted Bundy

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Is this the krusty krab? NO! THIS IS red lobster, how many i help you?

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He orders a lemonade and leaves promptly

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Why can't Albert Einstein hold down a job? Because he's dead.

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Two guys walk into a bar.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his cow? Where's my wife?

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What do you call red eyes in the dark? A high black man

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was michael jackson black or white? how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie poop? the world will never know

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Three guys went barhopping. One slipped and broke his dick.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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A chickens walks into a bar... And greets her fellow friends

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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Four men were walking, and three of them walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

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What's worse than opening your pantry door and finding nothing desirable to eat? Repeated high voltage electrical shocks to the anus.

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a gay guy walks into a bar what does he do? buys a drink after a hard day at work

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops