How many wooden chairs can a black man staple to a whales forehead? 27 because Helen Keller does not like blueberries.

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What causes floods? Too much water.

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George: I see you got a haircut. Jim: No, I got them all cut.

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Nicholas Salek did not write the message below. It was a joke one of his mates played!!

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What do you do if you see an alien landing? This depends entirely on the circumstances under which the landing takes place. It also depends on the observed nature of the alien,but given the high unlikelihood of this occurrence, one may be safe in the knowledge that he or she will never have to deal with such a mental state of stress.

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How many Aumish farmhands does it take to operate a state of the art commercial laser-cutter? One,provided he has the relevant training and experience.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

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Little Justin's bike has a flat tire has a flat tire. He asks his dad to inflate it. "Sure Justin I can fix that for you." Said his father. But he overinflates the tire, causing the tire to explode and ignite the chemicals. The house burns to the ground, killing Justin and his parents. The fire then spreads and the hole city burns. 50,000 people die.

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What's big and fat? An obese man.

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw a blonde? 3.

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How do you make a frog stand still? Shoot it.

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Your dad is so bald, that a various number of people compliment him on how well shaven his head is.

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Q: Why did the boy go to the orphanage? A: His parents were dead.

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What did the disabled boy get on Christmas morning? Cancer.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Getting shot in the head

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A blonde, brunette and redhead are walking in the forest when they come across a set of tracks. The brunette says, "Those are dear tracks." The redhead says, "Those are elk tracks." The blonde says, "Those are moose tracks." They are then hit by bus.

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Q: What's worse than finding 1 worm in your apple? A: Finding 2 worms in your apple Q: What's worse than finding 2 worms in your apple? A: The Holocaust Q: What's worse than the Holocaust? A: Finding 3 worms in your apple!

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hardy har har.. i should be working on a school project right now!!

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What's the difference between you and a cat? The cats mom isn't a whore.

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Why couldn't the blonde bride make it to her own wedding? She had another unplanned circumstance occur and the wedding was postponed until next week.

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How many average men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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whats black white and read all over a zebra bleeding to death because a zombie just attacked it and then it attackeed the zombie

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brandon ya twwat

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A black guy gets a job...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops