when life throws you lemons your an idiot because it wont

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Why can't a black guy be the King of England? He's not in line for it.

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Once you buy it, you will get a 365 day warranty or a 1 year warranty, whichever comes first

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse than The Holocaust? TEN HOLOCAUSTS? What's worse then TEN HOLOCAUSTS? THE END OF THE WORLD

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Why don't elephants eat bananas? Because they don't have opposable thumbs.

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What's the difference between a whore and a blonde? There is not enough information to answer this question.

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What do you call a man looking at Anti jokes on this ? you

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Got no dick? Then you're probably a girl.

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What did the dead person say? Nothing, dead people cant talk, coz they are dead

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Pee Pee bleekkka klup look? fupapapapapapapapap

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What do you call a room with a white man a black man and a hot pocket? A reasonable meal

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What's funny? At the exact moment you read this, someone is suffering from domestic abuse.

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Why did the black man say "I been done did that?" He was speaking ebonics.

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A chronic hemophiliac walks into a bar. He cuts his leg and bleeds to death.

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What's small and red that sits in a corner? A baby with a razor blade.

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What's black, white, and red all over? The color scheme. Except for the black and white. They're shades.

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What did the Beatrice do after she got kicked off of X Factor? she went to a nearby store and bought a slim jim

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Knock knock Whos there? No one, your wife was just in a fatal car accident and died on the scene, so your kids had to walk home from school instead of being picked up. Your son was captured by a sexual predator, and your daughter tried to run from them, and now she's under the wheels of the bus going round and round.

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Scenario: A man is being mugged in an alley Mugger: Give me your wallet! I have a gun! Victim: You don't have the balls. Mugger: Oh yeah! I have 3 balls! Victim: Well I have 2, you should probably get that checked.

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So a Dog walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of skotch, the bartender realizes he must be dreaming. At that very moment he realises he is in a lucid dream. Since this is the case he decides to murder his wife who is in bed right next to him as an expiriment. Since its a lucid dream it doesnt matter. Next he goes down to the fridge and pulls out some old pizza. He sits down for about half an hour eating it along with a box of tuis that also magically appeared in his fridge. Then he goes outside steals the neighbours car takes it for a ride to his Sister-In-Laws house who he has always wanted to root. He goes over breaks the window with his hand. The lucid dream feels so real to him because he pains from the glass in his hand and then he goes up stairs finds his sister-in-law sleeping so he hops into bed with her. At the same moment the police arrive because they followed him from his home were they recieved complants they heard him kill his wife. Everything starts to turn into a nightmare, so scared he trys to make himself wake up. However he cannot. This is not a lucid dream. This is reality. Pizza was in his fridge because he had it for dinner the night before, Beer did not magically appear. his wife had bought it when she went gorccery shopping. He killed his wife, then stole his neighbours car and attempted to rape his Sister-in-law. So now he is going to jail. And no lawyer wants to take up the case so this man is doomed. No hope at all of ever being a free man again

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The POLICE, now open the god damn door!

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How do you make a fireman cry??? Kill His Family

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Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

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Q. What do you tell a women with two black eyes? A. Stop pissing him off!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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