Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did a second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did a third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

What do you call one lawyer shot dead in the street? Ghandi.

Sometimes I hope into bed and pretend I'm a carrot!!!!

If the opposite of Pro is Con, whats the opposite of progress?

69

Why did the soviet plane crash? It was joseph Stallin

What did the farmer say when he lost his truck? Wheres my truck?

Pi = Pie, something everybody likes.

a gay man walks into a bar the bartender says "what'll it be today" he asks for a beer the bartender comes back with a beer because thats what he asked for.

why was the frog sad..... because it had a science lesson with the year 10s about the insides of animals

What do a grape and a plane have in common? They both have wings... except for the grape!

What's the difference between a muffin and a scone? One's a muffin.

How do you survive in the wilderness? You nail an orphan to a rock underwater.

A priest, a rabbi and an imam walk into a bar. They proceed to have an in-depth conversation about interfaith dialogue and no one questions the imam orders of non-alcoholic beverages.

Why did the man name his son David? He didn't. It was his wife's choice.

Roses are red. My name is dave. This poem makes no sense. Microwave.

why are black people so good at basketball? because they all can run jump steal and shoot

Cancer.

Roses are red, bikers are blur.....I love you ( drunk texting )

Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? The two ships suffered major damageand sank, killing over 100 people. The families of the passengers mourned their loss.

Two men are walking along the Great Wall of China. "Do you know how many years it took to build this?" one man asked. "Yes," the other replied. "Me too."

four little monkeys jumping on the bed... one fell of and bumped his head... mama called the doctor and the doctor said... im calling child protection services.

So a man was walking down the street with bananas in his ears when he saw one of his friends coming the other way. When they met up the one friend asked, "Hey you know you've got bananas in your ears?" To which the man replied "What? I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

What do you call the twin towers? An airport

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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