Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Bushes are Red, Trees are Red... my garden is on fire...

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Q: What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What do you call a Jew and a black mans offspring? A human

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Why 't the blonde dial 911? Because phones haven't had dials on them for at least 40 years or so. She can however punch it in on her keypad.

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"Knock, Knock" "who's there" "John doe" "John doe who" "I told you my my name was john doe"

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The king has three daughters. One day, one of the daughters comes into his room and asks, "Father, why is my name Rose?" King replies,"well, a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby." The next day, the second daughter comes into his room and asks,"Father, why is my name Tulip?" the king replies,"A tulip fell on your head when you were a bay." On the next day, the final daughter comes in and says, "BLAJSFUAGHASRAKKKKKK." The king says,"Shut up, Cinderblock."

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how do you make old people hate eachother? put them in a night time psychology class

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What did the duck say to the mouse? Quack!

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What did the man without a tongue say...

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Knock Knock Who's there? I don't know Then why should I care I don't know

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ask me if im a tree! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 was a registered 6 offender

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A watermelon doesn't scream when you cut it open.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck at poetry, show me your tits!

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "What'll it be?" The man quietly gazes out at the other people in the bar. He continues to do this for a while, until eventually the bartender calmly taps him on the shoulder to get his attention, and the man turns to look over at him. "What can I get you today?" He asks the man. "What?" the man replies. Turns out he's deaf. Who knew?

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YOU

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Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Because he was dangerously fatigued from staying up all night weeping passionately into the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of twenty years after the CEO of the company declared bankruptcy and finding out that his only daughter was in the hospital in critical condition after her school bus flipped off a bridge.

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Tic tac toe. You were adopted.

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What do you call a pair of banana peels? Trash.

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girls lacrosse

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Anthony Dephillips is handsome

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I dont hate you Lets just say if you were on fire and i had water id drink it

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What do you call shark with no dorsal fin? Unused ingredients for soup.

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What's funnier than the world ending? Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder in a staring contest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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