A worm slowly crawled through the ground, only to be eaten by an incoming bird.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What is the best way break up with your significant other without hurting their feelings? It is better to get it over with quickly and decisively. Gunshot to the head should do the trick.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Q: Where is the best place to hide a black persons food stamps? A: In their wallet so they can go to the grocery store and support their family with the little amount of help they get.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

No, luke. I am your father. damnit

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hello Carolina, let me lick your vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -43

the WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Knock knock Who's there? Honey, just let me in. This bloody game can't go on for an hour. I'm cold out here.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

What do you get when you cross a donkey and a hemophiliac? A bleeding ass!

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Why does jim never go to McDonalds? his wife got shot there.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

planned on writing you all an antijoke decided i wouldn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What happened when 7 8 9? Six was afraid! HAHAHaha....ha.... wait, no. I told that wrong....

thumb_up thumb_down +50

3 men were involved in a terrible plane crash. The first man got up, and all he could see was blue. Blue houses, blue cars, blue people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see blue. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops, then left in his blue world. The second man got up and all he could see was red. Red houses, red cars, red people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see red. He went down stairs and ate cherrieos, then left in his red world. The last man got up, and all he could see was yellow, yellow cars, yellow houses, and yellow poeple. Yet again he walked to a house, and the kind people let him stay the night. Once he woke up, he only could see yellow still. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops and left into his yellow world. So this proves that 2 out of 3 men prefer fruit loops over cherrieos.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Johnny Manziel is the best quarterback ever (this isn't a joke only a true statement)(this is a remake of a previous joke)

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Not an anti-joke, but an anti-pick-up-line: How much does a polar bear weight? Not as much as you!

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb Mary had a little lamb and the doctor was surprised

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What did the murderer get for Christmas? Executed.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What's brown and sticky? Poo.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

*knock knock* "who's there?" "me, the person who knocked..duh"

thumb_up thumb_down +40

once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

yuor momma so fat she has type 2 diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the dude fall? Because he tripped over a stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Don't you hate it when your reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

3 guys walk into a bar....dont you think one would see it ?

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops