Person 1-How do you spell pulmonary embolism? Person 2-P-U-L-M-O-N-A-R-Y E-M-B-O-L-I-S-M. Person 1- Thanks. Person 2- Your Welcome.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why Was Mary Short? She Had No Legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

just sit down and dont be a Jew

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock knock Whos there? No one, your wife was just in a fatal car accident and died on the scene, so your kids had to walk home from school instead of being picked up. Your son was captured by a sexual predator, and your daughter tried to run from them, and now she's under the wheels of the bus going round and round.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why can't Jimmy walk ever again? Because when he was 12 his father mistook him for a plank of wood a sawed his legs off. We may realise here that this prohibits him from walking.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: what animal didnt get on Noah's ark in pairs? A: worms. they got on in apples.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats fleash color flesh color and fleash color? a hodo rolling down a hill.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

If life gives you lemons ask where they came from.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? One is a tasty Italian food the other is a respected member of society

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

thumb_up thumb_down -5

An Englishman, and Irishman, and a Scottsman walk into a bar and the bartender says, "Is this some kind of a joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the black man say to the young white woman during sex? you are a wonderful woman

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's black, white, has green stripes and smells like eggs? I don't know. That's why I'm asking.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

roses are scarce, violets are farse, come over here and i'll stick it up ya ar#e.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the guy with alzheimer's say to his wife? He can't remember.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

The awkward moment when these anti jokes are NOT funny. at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats that cool sound it makes when you thumbs a comment?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the worst part about being drunk? Your child.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the black man go to school? So he could graduate with a degree and persue his life in medicine. He later goes on to get his P.H.D. He now supports his healthy family of 5 and living in Idaho, the state of the potato. He has a job as a doctor and is making more than $2M a year. Ha, didn't expect that now did ya.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: whats pink and fluffy? A: Pink fluff.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Bob dole

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Your family is dead. Your family is dead, who? Your family is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

guess what my nephew said today? oh ya i forgot, hes dead..

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops