The man who invented the teleprompter has died at the age of 91. When President Obama heard the news, he was speechless.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did mr smith say when a student asked for math help? ok

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you get when you cross a canary and a lawnmower? Nothing. A canary is a small bird, and a lawnmower is an inanimate object. Any procreation of this sort would likely produce no offspring.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did sally fall off the swing? because she had no arms. knock knock? who's there? not sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly shits on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the dog say to the mouse? Cat

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's big, black and hard to swallow? A bowling ball.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

If your uncle helped you off An horse, would you help your uncle jack off an horse?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the black man sent to prison? He was wrongfully accused of a crime which is a fine example of how flawed today's justice system is.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats funnier than the Holocaust? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Doctor: "I'm sorry, but your son has Hepatitis B. Asian Parent: "Why he has Hepatitis B? Why he not get the Hepatitis A plus?"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the little boy say after he was pushed off the cliff? Nothing. He died, therefore, he is incapable of speaking.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Waht do chinease people and gambling machines have in common? They both say chink chink chink chink chink chinck

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the lady fall out the window? someone threw axe at her

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Womens' Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I thought I was a bird and I could fly Gravity painfully reminded me I was only a human

thumb_up thumb_down +3

There are 100 men enjoying a cruise to celebrate an important contract going through at their place of employment. The boat then suffers a major malfunction and tragically sinks to the bottom of the ocean, miles from any land masses. Not a single man died, how is this possible? They all used the lifeboats supplied on the boat and followed the standard procedure to deal with such a crisis.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

roses are red violets are blue you know what? im sick and tired of this joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red I have a phone,no texts me am forever alone~The Jokers

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Ill do a lot more than just try you, anyways, technically I learned to play the piano as a kid, but now I play on a small cheap keyboard (the musical kind) and sincerely, I kinda suck at it now, my abusive parents expected perfection beat the shit out of me blahblahblah, thats really all of it, trauma. My senses, well, when I was a kid I was terrified of gravity (one of the rarest fears in the world) because I had no idea I was consciously shifting things myself. So lets say... If I somehow end up hanging upside down, I just shift it, so my brain believes I am not and I experience no discomfort, there is a lot more to it, ill tell you, damn nose wont stop bleeding and my waifu got a bit scared, she got some bad bronchitis and she still has not recovered a 100 percent, but its just the cough now though... Lets just say that my ability to balance, is about 300-500 percent higher than any regular human, and that I can stand on one leg enough to beat the guiness record book 50 times... ...IIIIF I was in good shape, which I am not.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a joke without a punchline?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two black men jump off a cliff, who wins? Wins what?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

how many Mexicans does it take to fix a light bulb? One, a Mexican can fix any thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops