Why do you not play poker with a cheetah. 1. Animals can't play card games. 2. Cheetahs are carnivores. Think about it.

Knock knock Who's there? Death. Come with me.

What's worse than finding a fly in your coffee? The holocaust. What's worse than that? Two flies in your coffee.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

What's 1 + 1? Fish. What's 2+2? Window. pie.

John Stamos.

what did the blind kid want for christmas? world peace.

a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and becomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into a piece of shit.

whats sad about 4 black people in a cadalic fallign over a cliff? it wasnt there car

Q: Where does charlie sheen shop? A: Winners

What's the difference between a truckload of dead babies and a truckload of bowling balls? You can't unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

what do you call a dead black man? dead

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had places to be

Tell my wife I died doing what I love... Not her

YEAH WELL SMELL YOUR BREATH U BELLEND

whats polish and black a polish black person

What's green and looks like a red truck? A green truck.

Guess What! HI!

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? My cheese

They say animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming. Like the night before that last earthquake hit, our family dog took the car keys and drove to Arizona.

Did you hear about the sale on the toyota cars from japan? if you can get it out of the water its free!

Is your refrigerator running? If so, you are on drugs, and should see help.

What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

What's black and white and red all over? A referee eating a red Popsicle on a hot summers day.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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