Why did the world not end in 2012? Because the Mayans were drunks.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapos.

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Why did i write this? I was bored

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What do you call a black guy that drives a plane? A pilot

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How do you call a dog with no legs? You can't call it, you have to go and pick it up.

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Whats 9 + 10? 19.

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Why are Ethiopians so fast? Because antelope are also very fast.

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The anti joke that repeats itself :(

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didnt she get back up? She had no friends.

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That's why her hair is so big, she teases it and uses a lot of expensive products.

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What did the dog say to the mailman? nothing, dogs lack the mental capacity for human speech therefore he was unable to communicate his message verbally

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Your Momma is so old, she started exercising more and eating healthier to increase the chance of her living long enough to enjoy your own children's lives.

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A dermatologist walks into a strip club. He tells the stripper she has hives on her back and that she needs to go to a clinic, then gets up from his lap dance and reports her to management.

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A man using Apple Maps walks into a bar. Or maybe a hospital... or possibly a church.

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how many blonds does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one, because she is an intelligent and capable woman

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this kid named terry was sitting in computer class then he got punched in the face

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what do you call an arse bandit? lady gaga's tanning salon attendants 3rd cousins dog chauffeur, roberto

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Q: You know what you should add to your recipe? A: No, not really. Tell me. Q: What? Are you expecting an answer now? Why don't you just shoot me, huh?! Pee on my clothes and set them on fire! You racist son of an **orange**.... It certainly tastes better with oranges.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Clever rhyming punch line refrigerator

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How do you know if your friend is dead? You shoot him in the face!

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had brain cancer.

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Why does Owen Wilson have an ugly nose? Because of his refusal to get plastic surgery.

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Nero the guy that killed four Neo Nazi`s desecrating the funeral of one of my late members in Chile with a revolver hidden in one of the 46 hidden pockets on the inside of his trench jacket with lots of folders here, inside whose only side effect is making me look like I spend a lot more time at the gym, later one of them found me, ran towards the police which laughed at him pointed at me and said: That guy with a prosthetic arm? You dont believe me... Excellent! Nero The Avenger

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What did the blind lady say to her cat? Nothing she doesn't have a cat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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