What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Me and the wife spent her Birthday in bed, if you know what I mean. We're both severely disabled.

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Why did the man Iorn his face? Because he felt like it.

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Why was seven afraid of eight? Because eight nine ten.

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no legs.

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Why did the man's legs start shaking when he saw the attractive women? There was an earthquake

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Do you want to French kiss? What are you, racist

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What did the Dinosaur say to the other dinosaur when he saw a huge meteor? Oh hey look a meteor.

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whats big, black and red all over? My mom when its that time of the month

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IM SEXY AND I KNOW IT Chrysanthemums are pretty but toads and people are damn to horny

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What do call a limbless man swimming? Dead.

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What do Bear Grylls drink under breakfast? Tea.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was a metaphor.

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Kill her entire family.

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Lisa’ house needed to be painted and her brother offered to do it for her. Lisa thought it was a nice gesture and told him that she wanted the house in antique white. However; after painting the house, Lisa noticed that her brother had used a color with a dark yellow tone. ”Are you sure this is Antique white?” she asked him. ”Offcourse!” he said. Afraid of hurting his feelings, Lisa didn’t dare to say anything. Ten years later, the house needed to be painted again. This time Lisa wanted to hire a professional painter, but her brother insisted on doing for her. He brought the paint, which Lisa recognized as the same yellow paint, with a color that Lisa had really begun to hate. ”Brother, are you sure this is antique white?” she asked, forcing a seriousness in her voice. ”Offcourse!” he answered, and Lisa was still too embarressed to object. Her brother didn’t have an easy life and she didn’t want to break his confidence. So the house was painted, same as before. Lisa did however notice a strange light in her brothers eyes. Another ten years passed, and the house needed to be painted a third time. This time however Lisa had had enough. Though it was her brother, she had become increasingly ashamed of her house had even stopped having guests over. With a deep breath she picked up the phone and called up her brother, ready to confront him. A woman answered; it was his wife. She could hardly speak because of her sobbing. Unfortunately Lisa’s brother had been killed in a car accident earlier that day.

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So I was sitting in the doctor's when I noticed a guy sitting about two seats down, wearing a sombrero and pouring salt over himself. Then I found out I had cancer and promptly lost all interest in him.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? she had no arms of legs. Knock Knock Whos there? Not sally.

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What happens when you yell at people who have high blood pressure? They might get heart attacks & die.

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What did the doctor say to the female car crash victim? Nothing she was dead when he walked in the room.

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Chuck Norris doesn't answer the phone - he doesn't have one at the moment

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have narcolepsy.

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Why couldn't the blonde read the road map? Because she was blindfolded and tied up in the trunk.

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what happens when you put samuel jackson on a plane with snakes? They make a movie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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