What's the difference between a Lamborghini and 10 dead babies? I don't keep a Lamborghini I'm my garage

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash and the other one is a watermelon.

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WHO the FUK are Waseem ? and Jess ??!!!!

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a fat man walks into a bar and gets laughed at because his shoes are untied

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Why did 4 Christians, 2 Jews, 1 Muslim, 1 Buddhist and an atheist squeeze into a Honda Accord? One of their co-workers at Appleby's made a compelling case for the financial and environmental benefits of carpooling.

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Its true, he didnt write that!!

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What do you call a black guy driving a Mercedes through New York? A U.S. Citizen

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What do you do when you fall of the horse? Consider calling the paramedics because it's possible that when you hit the ground your brain sustained damage and you should be rushed to a hospital immediately.

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' Cheese

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dream of a day when chickens won't be questioned about their actions

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Why didn't the baby cry? It was stillborn.

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Why did the prostitute survive the gunshot? She was wearing a bulletproff vest.

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How many WOMEN does it take to change a light bulb? YOU ALREADY KNOW ITS GONNA BE MORE THAN ONE!

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Where does Osama bin Laden do his shopping? He doesn't, he's dead.

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What happens to the man with cancer He dies Because the pharmaceutical company wanted to profit off a synthetic drug equal to marijuana

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Roses are red Violets are blue The sky is blue too

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Blonde: I'm sad. Brunette: Why? Blonde: I walked into a bar just to see my boyfriend having a drink with another woman, Brunette: I'm so sorry,

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The eighties called They were pretty exited about inventing a telephone that can call the future

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Q:how many anti jokes does it take to make a person lough A:1

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What happened to the cat that fell in the bath? It jumped out feeling cold and embarrassed.

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How do you make a chicken fly? Throw it

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Knock Knock It's the police, im afraid your wife has been killed in a horrible car accident.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue when I saw you what the heel are you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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