roses are red violets are blue ur family is dead and u will die too

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you lose your train of thought? You can't. It is impossible to fit a full size locomotive in the human skull.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A hispanic lesbian couple accidentally walk into a country western themed bar. And leave immediately as a bar is no place for their 2 year old son.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats horny and big A dick minus the big part!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you kill 1000 Ethiopians? Push 1000 Ethiopians off a cliff

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the man try to lick his elbow? Because he read a chain email saying no one could lick their elbow and he wanted to see if it was true. You will probably try to do it now too.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

whats 2+2? 4

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Michael Castillo is gay

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are grey Violets are gray Imma dog

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the fat man with scissors do? Cut off the foreskin of your penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Wanna know something fishy? A fish

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red, Violets are blue, This doesnt rhyme, Microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

There where ducks sitting in the bath One Duck truns to the other an says "could you pass me the soap" The other duck truns and replies "dont call me toast"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I had sex with your mom. It was f*cking terrible.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you say "Hello" in India? 1. Get a plane ticket and fly to India 2. Say Hello in India

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The bartender is institutionalized for paranoid schizophrenia.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a cannibal and like to burn people.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

"jrfevkhbgjk" said the retard.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

"Spell 'horse'" "H-O-U-Z-E" "No, that's incorrect. You failed the spelling test, you stupid fool."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

So there are 5 people on a plane the president, a movie star, and man who is on the verge of making world peace, the smartest man in the world, and the pope the piolt has a heart atack at and the plane will crash soon there are only 4 parachutes. So the first is Obama and he saysI won a Nobel piece prize and I run American see ya later and he takes the parachute next Steven hawking says sory pope Im taking this because I don't believe in God and black holes are cool so he takes the parachute and jumps out. Next Charlie Sheen says I need to entertain people and keep the drug dealers in business so he. Takes the parachute and jumps out. Then Francis turns to the hippie and says if you achive world peace it may help eliminate some poverty so you take the last paratute and jump out then the hippie says in return no its OK Steven Hawking took my back back. When they land they decide to serch for Steven's body and they find nothing. You see Steven Hawking had taken his own paratute with him and took the Hippies backpack to sell it and make some money

thumb_up thumb_down +13

the police there was several calls from people in the sarounding area who heard screaming from ur basement

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are Black. Violets are Green. im going to go cut myself now

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops