why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gate open and chickens typically wonder with no obvious pattern to their movements.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What happens when you shoot a bear and you kill it? It dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you get 100 Jews into a car? ...Nevermind, it wouldn't work.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you silence a barking dog? You rip out its vocal cords.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? "Robin get in the car"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse than dropping your ice cream cone? Man's inhumanity to man.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: How many years does it take for a deer to grow into a moose? A: 7

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what do you call a kid without arms and legs? Freak

thumb_up thumb_down -8

So a mama tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato were all walking down the street. The baby tomato was falling behind its parents. So the daddy tomato goes back, squishes the baby tomato and yells ketchup!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a blind fish? Amblyopsidae.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

no pen = no studying no studying = bad grades bad grades = no job no job = no money no money = no food no food = death DON'T LOSE YOUR PEN

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Yo momma's so fat that when she went to Seaworld and a whale saw her, looked away, and continued on with its daily life.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

black guy graduating high school

thumb_up thumb_down -10

how do you make a plumber cry kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -10

3 men check in to a motel. They all decide to leave given the eminent danger of being the butt of a homosexual joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between a live baby and a dead baby? A dead baby doesn't cry.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Patients: Whats happening doctor Doctor: I am afraid you all have tested positive Patients: Oh No!!! Doctor: Positive for being great friends all these years! Patients: Oh Doctor you are so.... Doctor: ASWELL AS AIDS!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the man suddenly burst into flames in room. The room was dark, so he lit a match. It turns out there was hydrogen in the room and when fire touches hydrogen, it sets on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A black man walks into a bar and says, "ouch."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between a duck? One of it's feet are both yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

two men walked into a bar the last one ducked

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between you and a mallet with a cold? Ones a sick duck...I forget what I was about to say but your mother is a whore

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops