What did the Muslim have under his hood of his car? A V-8 engine.

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I pooped my pants

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Make little things count Teach midgets math

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How many software professionals does it take to get a file committed to source control? Well, today it took five.

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how many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? usually one but depending on the severity of the patients' case the lightbulb will be changed by a person who is willing to offer their assistance as to prevent any form of accident taking place.

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water, hydrated silica, glycerin, sorbitol, PVM/MA copolymer, sodium lauryl sulfate, flavor, cellulose gum, sodium hydroxide, propylene glycol, carrageenan, sodium saccharin, titanium dioxide all adds up to colgate. SO AS A MATTER OF FACT, CHEESE PLUS PIE IS CHICKEN. CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT I LIKE SAYING CHEESE, JACK AND JILL WENT UP THE HILL BECAUSE THEY WERE BAGELS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse, thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly defecates on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few chairs and tables.

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What's worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? 1 dead baby in 12 trash cans.

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...this makes a cop throw a car and then call "inception!"

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? 17

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Why did Kelly never see Wass? cus she never looked in right places !!!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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What was the tallest mountain before Mount Everest was discovered? Mount Everest

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John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

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Q: What do you get when you stand a blonde on her head? A: HORSE DICK

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Why did the blond put a condom on her hear? So, she would not get hearing ads.

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a guy jumped out of a plane...he died

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Why did the dog stop barking. It was given a good reason to.

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Whats a black persons favorite flavored cake? fried chicken.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic eye chart maker? His disability caused to him to have a difficult time at work and his production suffered because of this.

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yo mama so dumb she got hit by a parked car. ~YN~

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A baby seal walks into a club.... Oh....

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What can you conclude about a black man in a mercedes? He has crack and car insurance.

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a man is having trouble getting onto the internet on his home computer. so he he calls a computer technician to help him. \

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops