hipsters

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Jews

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How do you know a French guy has been in your back yard? Your thrash cans are empty and your dog's pregnant

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What's the difference between a duck? One of it's feet are both yellow.

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What's the difference between you and a mallet with a cold? Ones a sick duck...I forget what I was about to say but your mother is a whore

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how do you get a blonde out of a tree? you politely ask her, then if all else fails call the local fire department

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Women's rights.

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What happened to the starving african kid? He died

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Johnny woke up christmas morning, went downstairs and opened his presents to find he had an iPhone, iPad,Ps3 Laptop, the full lot. Then his mate came around and Johnny bragged about all the stuff he had got. Then his mate replied," I wish i had cancer".

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Why couldn't the mexican get a job? He was seven.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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why was the boy laying on the ground? he got shot in the head

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what do you call a man with three eyes and eleven fingers? his name

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family

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A man walks into a bar. He is genetically predisposed to alcoholism, and it's destroying his family.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? "Robin get in the car"

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Yo momma's so fat that when she went to Seaworld and a whale saw her, looked away, and continued on with its daily life.

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What do you tell a Woman with black eyes? Nothing you've already told her twice.

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what did Harry Potter get for christmas? ... nothing his parents are dead !

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How do u know a black woman is pregnant? When she pulls out a tampon it has no cotton on it.

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What did the police officer say to the black man? "I am a police officer."

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do.

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Why did the man rob a convenience store? Don't ask why, call the police! He could be robbing more stores!

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How many dead babies can you fit in a drawer? 10 25* *if you use a blender

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops