what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

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A guy has cancer. He dies.

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Did you hear about the couple that met in a revolving door? They died.

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you BUT The roses are wilting The violets are dead The sugar bowl's empty And so is your head

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What did the man without a tongue say...

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A Jewish man with a boner walks into a wall. What hit the wall first? Probably his penis.

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A kid walks into a bar. The bartender promptly calls child protective services and the child is placed in a caring foster home.

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What's the most common pickup line in a gay bar? "Hi, may I buy you a drink?"

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Whats worse than a dead whore? 9/11

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What do you call a black man driving a bus? By his name

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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Horton Hears... Rape and violence and doesn't do anything about it.

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Three facts 1. You are reading this. 2. You realized that is a stupid fact. 3. You are leaving because this was a stupid joke.

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People could crack eggs but Chuck Norris could crack chickens.

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water, hydrated silica, glycerin, sorbitol, PVM/MA copolymer, sodium lauryl sulfate, flavor, cellulose gum, sodium hydroxide, propylene glycol, carrageenan, sodium saccharin, titanium dioxide all adds up to colgate. SO AS A MATTER OF FACT, CHEESE PLUS PIE IS CHICKEN. CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT I LIKE SAYING CHEESE, JACK AND JILL WENT UP THE HILL BECAUSE THEY WERE BAGELS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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a black guy with a parrot on his shoulder was walking down the street. another man asked, "where did you get him?" The parrot said, "theres tons of them in africa."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

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whats black and blue and red all over? my wife shhh!

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Whats a Quires favorite type of sport?--- A contact sport

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Why is Billy in a ditch? He stepped on a landmine and was promptly burst into many pieces. The ditch was coincidental.

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Your MUM has aids :D LOL

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No soap, radio!

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whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Nevermind, that was a stupid question.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops