When you're climbing up a ladder and you feel something splatter, you may want to see what happened, and then promptly clean up the mess so one one slips.

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Why do guys like Halloween? Martin Luther posted the 95 theses in 1517 on this day.

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Why cant steve get a job? Because Steve Jobs is DEAD! Moral: And people are all like "you gotta respect the dead", uh... Why not respect people while they are alive? Humanity is so fucking "smart" sometimes ya? Not that your answer matters...

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What do you call a baby in a blender? The newest Doritos dip.

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Your mom is so fat that when she went to the Doctors, He said she was slightly over weight

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whats the difference between 100 dead babies and a ferrari? the ferrari is not in my garage.

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What is black and blue and red all over? Rihanna

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Why wasn't the clown funny? He didn't have a face

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A grasshopper goes into a bar It is stepped on and crushed.

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i got angry and i was like " i really want to kick someone" ,my friend was on the ground and shes like "you can kick me" ,and i'm like "REALLY" ,then i kicked her really hard and she cried...

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What happened to all of the happy birds flying over the field? They were all suddenly stricken by the bird flu and died.

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"Why did the chicken cross the road" "why" "to get to the gay guys house" "knock-knock" "who's there?" "The chicken..."

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What is better than a cat? Nothing

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What has two legs but can't walk? A quadriplegic man who lost mobility in his legs due to a horrific logging accident.

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A man sees a clown, a robot, and a monkey walking down the street side by side. The man ponders the randomness of life.

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why wouldnt sally stop spinning? she was trapped in a washing machine

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I spilled Spot Remover on my dog. Now he is blind and has chemical burns all over his body.

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What is the difference between a mustache, and a pile of dead babies? Mustaches disgust me.

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Who has killed more people than Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy, and Jack Kevorkian combined? Mr. Rogers

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Why was the little boy late to church? He was getting raped by the priest. ....the priest was late too.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy.

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How do you kill a circus? Go for the Juggler!

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How did the Jewish husband and wife stay together forever? They didn't. They ended up in divorce like 50% of all other married couples due to irreconcilable differences.

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In Soviet Russia, millions of innocents died due to the oppression.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops