Why did the clown fall off the swing? He got shot.

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" Hey you have something on your face. " ( man speaking punches the guy he was talking to ) " It was pain."

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Land Rovers

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What do you get when you cross sodium citrate, citric acid, benzyl alcohol, monoethanolamine, sodium benzoate, gylcol disterate, FD&C Yellow #5, ammonium lauryl sulfate, methylisothiazolinone, fragrances/perfumes, FD&C Blue #1, sodium chloride, zinc pyrithione, methylchloroisothiazolinone, ammonium xylenesulfonate, ammonium laureth sulfate, cetyl alcohol, cocamide, guar hydropropyltrimonium chloride, 1-Decene, homopolymer, hydrogenated, trimethylolpropane tricaprylate and water? Head & Shoulders Dandruff Shampoo for Fine-Oily Hair

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what did the left nut say to the right nut? The guy above us is a real dick huh?

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot of his head

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Gay's rights

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation. John was never the same.

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What did the Beatrice do after she got kicked off of X Factor? she went to a nearby store and bought a slim jim

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mark is mark

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What did the black guy do to the hooker, he took her dead body out of his trunk

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what did the scene kid get for christmas? a gift card which he used ironically.

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What do you call a black priest? Father

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a duck walks into a restraunt.and the waiter asks "what would you like?" a quacker (like cracker)

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Pickles

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Why was six afraid of seven? because seven had diarrhea

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What did Delaware? A coat.

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What did the little gril with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer

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Why couldn't the old man read the street sign? Because there were no words. Just an arrow designating a trun up ahead.

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John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead John then proceeds to violently masturbate. Sam at first feels uncomfortable, then shits all over John and joins in.

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Waseem is sad because all his jokes are not funny!

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What do you call a cow after an earthquake? Dead. The barn collapsed on top of it.

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what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

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Why wasn't my T.V. on? Because I didn't have a remote.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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