How long does it take a Jewish man to pleasure his wife? There are many factors that go in to pleasuring a woman, none of which are readily measureable

Roses are red Violets are blue S*** is brown and so are you

Thank you for helping to save the animals. You may send your donation as a check to "Anti-Joke" at 555 Main Street, Anytown, CA.

How does Helen Keller do her taxes? Unfortunately, she doesn't. Her friends have strongly encouraged her to proactively contact the IRS to see if she can undergo a repayment plan of some sort and obtain governmental assistance for her future filings.

How do you make a clown sad? Rape his wife, choke his grandma and send him a video of you setting his children on fire.

What is purple and flies? A purple plane.

What's black and blue and red all over? The dead woman in the dumpster.

What goes up a smokestack instead of down? Murdered Jews, when they get cremated.

Why cant a black man and a white man cant be friends? Because bont mens are racist

whats brown and sticky? a four week dead uunborn african child...

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hello Carolina, let me lick your vagina.

What is worse than 10 dead babies in a tree? 1 dead babies in 10 trees.

What do you call a hobo that lives a in a box. A hobo

What are little Timmy's hopes and dreams? Destroyed.

what do u call a long dik gay guy Gay Dickerson

Womens rights

Why is the sky blue? The sun reflects off the water molecules in all bodies of water

What's worse than missing your favorite TV show? 9/11.

One man says to another "Hey you have banana in your ears." The other man replies "I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

There once was a man from Nantucket. He loved working with tourists.

What happened when the man rubbed the magical lamp? Nothing.

What's the difference between a duck?

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless you're paralyzed.

Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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