Knock Knock Who's there? Your real father. I left you when you were a month old and I have regretted the decision ever since. I would like to be a part of your life.

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What do you call a man with a cigar in his mouth. A person with bad health and dirty teeth.

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There was a man who had a camel, but one day he lost his camel. He wanted to go and look for it but he couldnt because he had to go to work. So the next morning he went to look for his camel. He went over the road and saw a gate, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate and saw a forest, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest and saw a hill,but he couldnt go down the hill because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill and saw a river,but he couldnt go over the river because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river and saw a house, but he couldnt go to the house because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house and saw a door, but he couldnt knock on the door because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, and saw a man, but he couldnt speak to the man because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", but the man couldnt respond because he had to go to work The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", and the man said, "no"

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How do you make friends with a squrriel? Trust me, don't.

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What's the difference between basketball and an elephant? One's a sport and one's a large African animal.

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What's the difference between a baby and a mushroom? One is delicious, the other is a mushroom.

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i don't get it...none of these are funny.

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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

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Whats the differance between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? This isn't a car

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How do gay guys have sex with women?? They dont, they are gay.

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a tree? Nailing1 baby to 10 trees

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Why don't dinosaurs talk anymore? Because they're all dead, duh. :P

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A little boy starts to be followed by a man in a large white van. They come across an intersection, the boy turns left, and the man turns right.

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Q: What is the difference between a Ginger and a shoe? A: A shoe has a sole

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Whats white and looks like a bunny? a rabbit

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What do you get if you cross a banana, a mango, and an apple? A smoothie

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What do you call a homeless person with one leg? Rob.

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Why'd the boy fall off his bike? The holocaust

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Q: What is the difference between a duck? A: That question doesn't make any sense.

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Yes!

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How do you make a Nazi mad? You slash his tires.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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