Why did the bus crash? Because the driver was a watermelon.

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Q: What do you call a black guy with an air plane? A: A pilot you racist bastard!

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No, we got to speak now, or you know, never.

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A. Your mamma is so stuiped she starved to death in a grocary store.

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What do you call a mexican working at Taco Bell? An intelligent young man who recently graduated from high school, but due to his family's lack of money, he cannot pay for college, which is one of the reason's why he is working. He also needs money becuase he has a child on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection while having intoxicated relations with his girlfriend. I wish him the best of luck!

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what do a fish and wood have in common? when they're dead, they float

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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A blonde, a redhead, and Asian are talking. They are friends.

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Why couldn't Scruffy get out from under the car? It had parked on his skull.

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Question: Whats worse then getting hit by a bus? Answer: Getting hit by a train.

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water, hydrated silica, glycerin, sorbitol, PVM/MA copolymer, sodium lauryl sulfate, flavor, cellulose gum, sodium hydroxide, propylene glycol, carrageenan, sodium saccharin, titanium dioxide all adds up to colgate. SO AS A MATTER OF FACT, CHEESE PLUS PIE IS CHICKEN. CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT I LIKE SAYING CHEESE, JACK AND JILL WENT UP THE HILL BECAUSE THEY WERE BAGELS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What is worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your worm!!!

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Hitler: Ve shud vork togeza and place stategic bombs overr your island. Castro: You are dead.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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If at first you don't succeed, there's a very substantial probability that you failed.

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how long is a peice of string howeverlong you want to make it

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What do you call a white man flying a plane? A pilot. What do you call an Arab man flying a plane? Also a pilot.

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Why did the man not open his door to the trick or treaters? He was a sex offender and it was illegal for him to open it...

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a women. Statutory rape.

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Lady Gaga didn't have anything to wear to the playboy party.

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If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around, does anyone really care?

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food before? No? Well neither have they.

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What is the difference between Boyscouts and Jews? Boyscouts come home from camp.

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How do you make a blond shut up? Staple her tongue to the roof of her mouth and super-glue her lips together.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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