There is a man who is half black half Jewish. He walking up a hill really fast. What happens to him? Answer: The Jewish side of his body will fall off and the black side will walk away.

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What do you do when your internet goes down? You right click on the internet connection and try to fix the problem.

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Did you hear about the guy that dropped the soap in prison? He apparently gripped it a bit too tightly causing it to slip out of his hands, but managed to pick it up promptly and finish showering with no further incidence.

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Salad. It's green and so is The Hulk.

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This guy goes to the ball game. He waits in line at the concession stand and gets a footlong hot dog and a giant orange soda. Then he makes his way around to his section of the stadium, and works his way to his seat, which is in the center of the row. Right when he's about to take a bite of his hot dog, when he hears someone in the seats way up behind him yell "Hey! Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, and sets down his giant orange drink, stands up and turns around, scanning the crowd. Eventually he sits back down. He picks up his hot dog, picks up his giant orange drink, and is just about to take a bike when he hears it again, someone way up behind him yelling "Hey! Mike!". So, he sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, and scans the hundreds of faces in the seats behind him. After a while, he sits back down. Then, right when he's about to bite into his hot dog, he hears someone behind him yelling "Mike! Hey, Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, cups his hands around his mouth and yells as loud as he can, "My name's not Mike!"

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Why did you visit antijoke.com? Because you don't find real jokes funny.

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A dolphin walks into a bar. Dolphins do not have legs therefore this is physically impossible.

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What do you call a black man at the head of the U.S.? A mistake.

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Hey, you pee here? Yes, it's called a urinal

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar with a vase of 12 roses. 57 years later he died after a lengthy battle with colon cancer.

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Why couldn't the blond turn the TV on? Because she is blond.

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Why did the kid stop going to school? His alarm clock broke.

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What's the difference between a hippopotamus? An orangutan.

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why did the bus crash the driver was an alcoholic and was drunk he killed 8 people upon impact.

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I'd feel bad for some skinny guy who lived in a very obese family and only got hand me downs.

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Whats the best part about 23 year olds? Theres 20 of them

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What's funny about 9/11? Nothing.

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Yo mama's so ugly that the majority of people find her physically unattractive, but I hear her personality if great.

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I'm a raging homosexual.

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whats worse than hitler? Anti-Jokes By darragh hamilton

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I wouldn't touch ellen degeneres with a 10 foot lance. However, i would shake her hand with my hand. Lesson: 10 foot lances are no way to touch ppl.

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Why did the pineapple cry? It didn't, because it's a pineapple.

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Why do black people like fried chicken? -Because all races like fried chicken.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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