Why did the Muslim enter the bar? He didn't.

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Your social life.

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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what do you call a man with three eyes and eleven fingers? his name

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What do you tell a Woman with black eyes? Nothing you've already told her twice.

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Your mother is so stupid, she is unable to uphold a steady job and cannot support you financially.

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There was a big guy he was called Mac. So Mc Donalds turned him into a burger

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Whats worse than finding out that your family is dead? finding a worm in your apple

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I LIKE TRAINS

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What did the man with five penises say? I have 5 penises.

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Your mom is intimately familiar with many mens' penis due to her many years as a successful urologist.

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Q: What happened when Bob the Super-mega-ultra man, in his hurry to return an item that was objectively proven to be hazardous to physically normal people, banged his head very hard against a wall of a random building that was located on his route of travel? A: He recieved a concussion and had to coalesce in bed for a long time in order to return back to his regular style of living. Bob was merely a nominal 'Super-mega-ultra' man. He gets hurt practically as easily as anyone else.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken crossed the road accidentaly as chickens are absent minded.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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A Man walks in to a bar and orders a pint of lager, he notices something floating on the top of his drink so he calls over the bartender. "Excuse me, I think there's something in my dr-" The man's sentence was cut short as a man with a gun had just walked into the bar. He killed everyone, there were no survivors.

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What did the Vietnam veteran see on Christmas that changed his life? Nothing, he was blind. He continued to live his life in the same way, begging for drug money and getting bullied by all the other homeless vets.

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What did the guy say to the other guy? LOOK AT MY EYEBROWS!!!!!!!

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roses are red facebook is blue no mutual friends who the heck are you

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Charlie Sheen walks into a bar... Every morning, and stays until it closes... [credit gilbert gottfried]

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Wanna hear a joke..... Corey Jacobs Scrotum!

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If E = cos[(6x+8) + 5x!] + tan(90-X)^2, and x = 137/43, what is E? The fifth letter of the alphabet.

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You have cancer

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He orders whiskey. An American enters the same bar. He orders a beer. A blonde Frenchwoman enters the same bar. She says "Gimme whatever the Irisman ordered! Double it! He's cool!" She started talking to the American

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How do u know a black woman is pregnant? When she pulls out a tampon it has no cotton on it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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