A dog walks into the local newspaper to place an ad. The dog writes; "woof woof, woof woof woof." Receptionist: You know you can ad another two woofs for the same price? Dog: Well that wouldn't make any sense at all?

What did Chuck Norris say to the man that asked for his autograph? He happily obliged and continued on with his day.

What is the greatest lie ever? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Two Girls One Cup

What are vampires favorite drink? Vampires aren't real.

Q: Why is my friend gay? A: Because i slept with him.

A Jew! Bless you.

If there are 50 oranges and 50 waffles tied to a fence post. How many cow utters does it take to shit green? urine.

What is the worst part of a 4 blacks hanging from a tree? They were only children

Knock, Knock Why did you just say knock knock?

(approach girl) How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to fit into the same dress as you

Why did the cookie go to the doctor's office? He had brain cancer.

What do you call a fat man in a tiny pipe? Stuck.

Your mother's so fat that affects her self esteem.

A black guy, an asian guy, and a white guy jump off a cliff, who lands first? Well, newton's first law states that every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. So it depends on who weighs the most.

A guy walks into a bar. Yep.. that's it.

What's worse than being a jew in the holocaust Being born black

A paraplegic walks into a bar.

(read this aloud): A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. Him and the giraffe order multiple shots and get hammered. The giraffe on the other hand can't hold his liquor so well, and ends up passing out on the floor of the bar. The man decides to leave him there and take off. On his way out, the bartender yells, "Hey, you can't just leave that lyin' there!" and the man says, "It's not a lion, it's a giraffe!"

Get on your knees Ho

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have alzheimer's Bacon

What do Gay horses eat? Cheese.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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