Q:What did the furry say to the other? A: Probably nothing, cant be easy speaking with a dick in your mouth...

a cat a dog and a penis meet up. The cat said ur lucky, when you have to pee u can go wherever you want. the dog said your lucky you can go in a litter box. the penis said your lucky u dont have to put a ballon over your head and do pushups till you throw up!!!

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Socks.

Ted Haggard.

Why can't George Washington drive? Because he died!

do you wanna hear a joke about pizza? sure. naw,its too cheesy

Me: Sometimes I like to talk to myself. Me: So do I.

How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

Once upon a time, there was this guy. He lived a good life and then died.

skurfboards we love fat kids

Yesterday I saw a black kid outrun a white kid know why? Because the white kid was a cripple

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

a man walks into a bar... it was a crow-bar

what did the guy tell the other guy? you're gay

How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen Bug? Four in the seats, twenty six in the ash tray, and thirty in the gas chamber.

why did the girl eat a banana? because she was hungry

Why didn't Steve finish his homework? He didn't want to.

When life gives you lemons, chuck them at the creepy man across the block.

what's black and blue and red all over? nothing, you're and idiot.

Hey i just met you and this is crazy i suck at rhyming door knob

Q:Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree A: No

knock knock. come in.

What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? 2 weeks to live...

Why did Patrick cross the road Because he saw a rock

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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