An apple a day keeps the doctor away. What about the vampires?

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One day Satan, approached his dad and said: DADDY I love you so much, I want to be just like you! That story did not end up so well did it?

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What do a platypus and Obama have in common? A brain, except for Obama.

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What's worse than aids? Super aids.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The interrupting doctor The inter- You have cancer

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There was this guy who walked in the bar with one shoe. The bartender asks what happened. The man said the shoe didn't fit. So the bartender ask where is the other shoe. The man said he threw it away. The bartender looks in the trashcan and sure enough he sees his other shoe. The bartender says "This is the same size as your other shoe. Why are you wearing one shoe?" The man says "I'm just playing a prank on you. There's a hidden camera over there and over there. Is it okay if I can put you on YouTube?" and the bartender says "No."

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What did the man say when he was asked if he recently saw a mime painting a lawn chair in the middle of December? "No." , and walked away, slightly confused by the matter.

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how did the man get down the stairs? he walked.

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Q:Why do people not live forever? A: Because they die dumbass.

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Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob What What the hell are you doing here

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Q. How do you break into a store that's closed? A. You walk in, I was lying about it being closed.

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Why did your mom cross the road? She Tripped and started rolling

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What's worse than stepping on chewing gum A clown throwing bricks at orphans

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Cashier: Have a nice day sir! Grumpy man: Don't tell me what kind of day to have ya fruit!

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Why did the man stand on one foot? Because he had one leg.

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Do you know what is dead on the carpet ? Your mother

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What did the nazi say to the jew? im gay

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Why did the baby die? Abortion

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Knock knock Who's there? 7. And if that's you in there, 6, you better start praying.

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What did one muffin say to the other in the oven? Nothing. They're muffins.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Did you hear about the deer? He had antlers. If antlers where a kind of disease, that would be a pun.

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Women's rights

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What's after 9/11? 9/12

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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