Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homo-sexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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Why cant helen keller drive Because shes a woman

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What is 4 letters and made out of wood? Wood.

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Whats easier to fit in a trunk, babies or concrete bricks? Babies because you can hit them with a pitchfork.

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Why did the man throw the woman off the cliffe? Tequilla.

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Wanna know something funny? Your face

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What's green and has wheels? A green car.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

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Why did the black guy buy spray paint? To paint his fence, to keep it from rotting away.

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Why can't Tommy ride a bike? Because Tommy is a goldfish.

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What did Obama say to Hilary? Will you be my secretary of state?

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Pull over dat ass to fat, no seriously your blocking a firelane

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Why couldn't the moose find a good hotel for the night? A moose wouldn't have any currency available and quite frankly, no one would let him in.

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Two men go hunting and one has a sudden heart attack. The other man calls 911 and immediately tells the operator his location and the nature of the emergency. Rescue workers arrive on the scene in a timely manner and the man makes a full recovery.

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Bitch please, you're adopted as well.

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Whats worse than losing your car keys? Watching your 4 year old son get visciously raped by a 20stone sex hungry pedophile and knowing you cant do anything about it because the sex hungry pedophile is your dad and he is the alpha male of the family so he has full mating rights.

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Why can't the man have babies? His nuts was cut off and he eventually bleed to death.

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Roses are Red Violets are plucked So are my nose-hairs Pretty disgusting

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Roses are white Violets are black I'm colorblind That is sad

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What's the difference between a water melon and a baby? One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer, the other's just a water melon.

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if life gives you lemons you probably have problems

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I'm innocent its all Taggart he's the one instigating.

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How do you kill the circus? You chop it's head off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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