A man walks into a bar. He pulls out a knife, shoots the bar tender, and then kills himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A tiger walks into a bar, the patrons ran out terrified.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man walks outside and walks back in. Why? Because it was raining purple unicorns and he felt the need to go back inside.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Two blonds are driving to Disneyland. While there driving they see a sign "Disneyland: left" So they started crying and headed back home.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

ask me if im a house are you a house? no

thumb_up thumb_down -7

so dont touch it.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Four rats are smoking in an alley. One rat turns to another and comments, "These are some fine smokes. Where'd ya score these?" The rat holding the pack of Menthols replies, "Off a' Fred." He points to a rotting whale carcass in the road. The other rats are horrified. "How did a whale die in the street?!," they squeak. "He didn't. He died on the beach."

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What happened when john pelted susie with a rock? she had a temporary concusion, needed eight stitches and John was grounded

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Im going to france... Why To get french fries! Have fun Im back with a $10000bill to pay Wheres the fries Shit

thumb_up thumb_down -7

1 friend request facebook: ignore. Nuff said

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you mess with Helen Keller? Move all the furniture in her room.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A little boy and a pedafile are walking through the forest at night. The little boy says "I'm scared." The pedafile says "You're scared? I have to walk home alone."

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Yo Momma is so fat that she is heavier than most other women her age

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the mother get at the grocery store? Food.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Polity ask him to stop.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whats the difference between a dog and a cat? ones a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse than your dad being hit by a car? Your family being hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I am not racist., I have a black man in my family tree! He is still hanging there

thumb_up thumb_down -9

your momma is so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops