What happens when you turn the TV on? You watch it.

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I need a sidecart on my motorcycle just for my diick

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What did the blonde say when she saw a tan button on her calculator? That must mean tangent.

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A dog walks into a bar Because the door was open -Tag

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I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

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Homeless man....it's what's for dinner!

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Guess what Timmy got for Christmas, Nothing, Timmy has no parents, he's an orphan.

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What's worse than killing 6,000,000 Jews? Killing 6,000,001.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well neither has he.

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You know what's sad and Funny? When a guy walks into a gay bar and doesn't get hit on.

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96

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Q. Where's your nan???? A. In my closet

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What do you call a black person flying an airplane? The pilot.

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What happened to the boy who stalked the pretty girl? His father raped him and he died in a house fire induced by his overwhelmingly sick love for the taliban

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A- 2 jews walk in a bar..what happed? B- they died 35 years later from skin cancer

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Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The question just posed is unanswerable, as in order to state the reasoning for the chicken crossing the road, one would have to assume the a chicken has a concept of 'road'. As the chicken is an avant, we can safely say that it has no need of pavements/ sidewalks or roads. As a result, it cannot possibly have an incentive for doing so. Consider the following hypothetical analogy: you are walking in a forest, and you unknowingly cross another animals scent trail. You cannot possibly say WHY you walked across the scent trail, as you didn't know it was there. You can state your reasoning for walking in the first place, but not for crossing that specific scent trail. In conclusion, this question is unanswerable, due to the chicken's lack of knowledge about roads.

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What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

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What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari? There's no Ferrari in my garage.

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That awkward moment where all you want for Christmas is for your parents to get back together but then you realize that they died in a car crash

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IKR! and I hear rondo and wade were in a fight too!

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How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops