What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

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What is worse than the holocaust paying taxes

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A dancer walks into a barre

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Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

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Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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Why did Billy kill Joey? Joey had sex with Billy's wife... and Billy wanted revenge.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

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Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

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What colour is a black man in a freezer black

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What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

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What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

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what does pedobear get for christmas ? nothing he's the one giving love to all kids .

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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