What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous weapons that may inflict bodily harm.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

what happened to the batsman with bad footwork? he got out what did the batsman do when he got out? he left the ground due to the nature of the ruling

What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

Why'd the asian man cross the road? I dont know, who cares? Just leave the guy alone

Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

Whats funnier than a guy in a wheelchair? A guy on the floor squirming to get back in his wheelchair.

What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

Hello

Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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