I don't want to share my name yet if that is okay, I mean I have not seen you, but you have seen me just saying. Tell me how old you are first, I am 26, or 27, being more or less an orphan since birth details like that kinda lose themselves. And no, its not Eliza, I will wait for you here if you do not mind, there are still people that have thought I am Nero all this while, that`s what worries me, I doubt I can convince them I am chatting with myself this time around.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Why was the little boy laying on the ground unconscious? because I threw a fridge at him.

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What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

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How many fingers am i holding up? none, my hand got blown off in Vietnam

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So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

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What did the man on the moon say? Nothing. He died because his supply of oxygen ran out.

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What do you get when you put two landsharks together? Three landsharks.

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What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

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[Set up] [No punch line]

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Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

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What do the Africans have for breakfast? Nothing.

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A blond, brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They find a genie, who tells them each one can have one wish. They all wish for the same thing, to be back home with their families.

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Yo momma is so poor when she went to the bank the teller was like " you have no money."

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what does a buttler put in a closet ? stuff.

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How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

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What happens when you search andreas' mum in google? You are redirected to man porn

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why weren't all the jews wiped out in WW2 the gas bill was too expensive

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Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

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Sam murray got home after school one day, he siad hello to his father and possibly played some Avatar on the D.S

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Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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whats worse than getting caught by a teacher for chewing gum? getting kidnapped by a giant hawk.

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If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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