Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Wanna have sex?

Why did Jimmy's grandma never come home ? Her liver failed .

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Text Klarens at 317-653-8695. Tell him crazy shit or send crazy pictures.

Why was the young girl sad? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

whats flat and useless? the walls of an abandoned house where land prices are increasing and properties are in high demand

children are much like potatoes. when you eat them, they die.

haha women's rights.....what a joke.

y do black people always have nightmares because we killed the one who had a dream

Why do things made by Glen taste so good? Because he has mastered the cream

how do stick a dead baby into a blender and why???????? feet first so u can see the reaction on top.

A Mayor accidently killed one of the citizens of his town through dangerous driving. He could not be charged with murder, as it was an accident, but there was an uproar, and he was humiliated beyond question and forced out of office straight away. Even his family rejected him, owing to the fact that the unfortunate citizen he struck was his son's girlfriend.

Your mom is so fat that her Body Mass Index is 30,?which is considered obese, she should really try to lose some weight.

Q. What do you call a blonde in a library? A. Lost.

What's the worst part about a plane with 500 people in it crashing? It might leave a dent in the ground.

What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

What did the cow say to the chicken? - Muuuuhhhhhhhhh!

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

Why did the Old Lady cross the road? Because the worm selected her as a weapon

Its over 9000 penises and they're all raping little children!!!!!

What's black and white and red all over? A butler with a stab wound.

What do you call a girl who has slept with five guys? Her name.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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