Why couldn't the boy watch the DVD about pirates? Because his mother did not understand the importance of putting the disc back in it's case after use, and as a result, has become too damaged for the DVD Player to play.

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You know why one side of the "v" formation of a flock of geese is longer don't you? Cause it has more geese in it.

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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What did the kid in the wheelchair get for Christmas? AIDS.

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

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Knock knock Who's there Orange Orange who Orange

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Why was the pizza mad? Because he was going thorough a growth spurt and the testosterone got to him.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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What do you call a women with 2 black eyes? Hopefully nothing because abuse is something that shouldn't be messed with and it is wrong.

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What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

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My daughter got a kinder surprise with cool toy today..... i killed her i didnt even want the toy

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Why did the Mexican man grow a mustache? It wasn't his choice. Men naturally grow facial hair and he ran out of razors.

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If you're jumping rope, and both the tires are flat, how much frosting would it take cover the staircase? Rocket!

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Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

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Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

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Why did the woman have no boobs? Breast cancer

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A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

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How do you make a white girl commit suicide? Bully her.

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Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

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What did the little boy say when he was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road A Nobody knows why because nobody is psych

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops