Q:Where did sally go when the bomb went off? A: Everywhere.

how do you kill chuck norris? you dont, killing is illegal

Why couldn't Billy write his own name... ...because he was wearing purple lemonade???

roses are red violets are red the whole world is red i started the holocaust

what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

Your mother sleeps around so much that I worry that she may be taking too much medicine for her insomnia.

what did hitler say when the allies invaded germany i did NAZI that coming

How do you get a Hooker Wet? Dump her in a River.

Yo mama so fat that you should maintain strong eye contact with her and not look at her body.

Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

YOU

Why did the woman step away from the kitchen? To pick up her paraplegic son, who had fallen.

A man looks at a glass and says that it is half full. Another man looks at the glass and says that it is half empty. A feminist looked at the glass and said it was being raped

how do you make Will Smith cry? cut off his toes and fingers.

Why did the black guy cross the road? He didn't because he forgot to precede crossing the busy street with caution; therefore he was critically injured and then placed in a hospital.

What did the lesbian say to the hot dog? "nice to MEAT you" get it the hot dog is made of meat!

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

What do you call a black guy who works at McDonald's? A worker, you racist piece of shit!

Who is the greatest cook ever? Adolof Hitler

How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: toothpaste

A cheerio gets a job at McDonalds and after working for a while, he gets employee of the month and goes to the district ball. While there, he meets a female(frosted) cheerio whom he asks out. She refuses because she only dates frosted cheerios. So, the male goes back to work for the next year, and his boss is happy with his work, so he asks him if he would like anything. The cheerio says yes, i want to be frosted. The boss says ok, i'll make you frosted, so now that he's frosted, he goes back to the ball. He asks the same female cheerio out, she says yes this time. He then asks her if she wants something to drink, she says yes. She wants some milk. So the guy stands in line for about 15 minutes, when he gets to the front, there is no more milk left. So he asks her if she would like some tea. she says yes. So he goes and stands in line for another 15 minutes only to find out there is no more tea. So then he asks her if she would like some punch, shesays yes. So after an hour of searching, he finds out there is no punchline......

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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