What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a latino with a limp? John...his name is John

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why does Joel's breathe smell?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

One day 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the Banana say to the human. Nothing, because bananas are not capable of talking

thumb_up thumb_down -7

An Asian walks into a bar with his girlfriend He proceeds to buy himself and her food Pays Then leaves

thumb_up thumb_down -7

OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a white man without a face? Dead. What do you call a black man without a head? Negger.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what do you get if you cross a retard with ruddell? andrew ruddel

thumb_up thumb_down -11

roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

thumb_up thumb_down -11

knock knock. who's there? just open. just open who? you're really dumb aren't you

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A black man walks up to a white man, and the black man says YO DIGGITY DAWG WASSAP FO DRIZZLE PLAYA BEEP BOBOTY BOP. And the white man stands there, confused as to what the black man said.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Is it closer to Minneapolis, or by bus?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did the kid burst into flames cause he lit himself on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A guy dared his friend to jump off a bridge for 10 bucks. His friend, fearing for his life did not jump.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is that smell? I don't know. I'm color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops