I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

What did the black man say tovtye chinese man? Hello sir how are you today?

Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

A blonde takes a test. She scores higher than her Asian friend.

What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? The sandwich is hidden under the couch, and is non-migratory.

Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes.

A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

what is worse than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? catching one with a pitchfork!!!!

Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because the weather report said there was a 90% chance of rain, and he didn't want to get his posh new coat wet on the way to the studio

How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

What is a 3 legged dog? It's still a dog! Sheesh

I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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