Why did the old man die? He was old.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why didn't the plane crash... because of the wight male piloting it

thumb_up thumb_down +10

If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

knock knock whos there the game __i lost the game__

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

thumb_up thumb_down +4

That awkward moment when you get in the van and there's no candy.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops