An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why is the bowler right handed? He has no left hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the aisian man get pulled over? Because he was going over the speed limit .

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: So I don't get it. Do women actually like not having penises and testicles? Do they genuinely enjoy it? A: Silly boy. Women ADORE not having penises and testicles. You just can't get your mind around someone having different preferences in anatomy than you.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what is funnier than a apple? a talking apple

thumb_up thumb_down -6

So two men were drinking beer and one asks "Why are you so sad today, Lenny?" The other man replies "Because I was just diagnosed leukemia." Four days later Lenny dies and his body was buried at Cherryhill Cemetery where his family mourned over his death.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a classified space mission for N.A.S.A.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops