Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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What did the farmer say to little susie? I have a gun. Get in the car and dont scream or i will kill you

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Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

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Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

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No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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Justin Bieber

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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Bird is the Word. Actually 'What" is the word.

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Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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What's Worse Than Falling Over? .......Rape.

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

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What is one similarity between John Samos, and the dreadful clown? they have a red nose and are payed to be funny, aside from John Samos!

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

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What do you call a guy with out any arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "Yeah, but you make a really great sandwich!"

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

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Why was the minority sad? Because the police beat him and then he was raped in jail.

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Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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