-How do you kill a douche? -You stab him untill he cries out in mercy and stops moving.

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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2 mentally, unstable , woman visit the cinema , and watched "The Sweeney,"they really enjoyed it

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

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Why did Timmy's face hurt? Because there was a frog stapled to it.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? one's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, the other is a lawyer

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Why didn't Joey play with the other kids on the playground? Answer: He was dead

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a canoe at him.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? (knocker runs for life).

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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What did Hitler say to the Nazis? I have a mustache.

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How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

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What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

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Who is big and stupid My brother

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What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red shirt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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