Knock knock Who's there? Boo AHHH A GHOST D:

Whats worse than 20 dead babies in a garbage can? A: The smell

how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

KNOK KNOK WHOES THERE APPLE APPLE WHO SEE THIS IS Y U BROKE UP

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

How do you make etheopians rave ? glue bread to the roof

Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

roses are red violets are blue i'm chinese and i don't know a joke pickle.

Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have down syndrome, my favorite color is potato

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

A man walks into a bar, buys a pint of beer, talks to his friends for while and leaves.

What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

What did Chuck Testa do when he saw she had died of a heart attack? He cried and gave her a proper funeral and burial.

what did the man say to the other man when he saw a dinosaur look.

why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

What do you call a black guy who wins a race? A winner

Q: What do you call a innocent black man that was shot 403 times by the cops when they asked for his ID and somehow assumed he was gonna reach for a gun? A: Deceased Texan.

Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit! I can talk too!"

what has fore legs and cant fly a cat you idiot

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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