Roses are red, violets are blue, I have to go to the bathroom.

Large 4

What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

The speeding car skidded on the rain-slicked roadway. Beyond the outside of the curve was a 100 meter drop-off. As the car slid toward the edge of the road, the driver and passenger both had a sick feeling in the pit of their stomach and wished they hadn't ordered vinegar milkshakes, the special of the day at Pickle Shack. Or it could have been the toadstools, but it didn't matter now.

What was the color of the big lipped, struggling rap artist who violently raped and killed a young woman after robbing a convenience store at gunpoint? Red. He was covered in blood.

What did the man say when he saw his t.v. floating in the middle of the night? I must be seeing things. By logic, televisions don't float. My weary eyes must be playing tricks on me and I should probably go back to sleep.

why did the couple sell their house? their children were all raped and then murdered in it and they cant stand the memories

Internet Explorer

ROTFL = Reaching out to fellow lossers

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

What did the Jew say when he walked into a bar? Ouch!

Why did Justin Bieber cross the road? Because the chicken chose him as a decoy.

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of trousers? To get to the other side.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm drunk, I want Taco Bell.

What do you call a popular rap and hip-hop artist? Tunde

Whats brown, sweet, and bad for your teeth? A brick.

How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

It's all Taggart

Why did the man have a really short temper? HOW THE **** SHOULD I KNOW???

Boy: Mother, I'm dying! Mother: Ha, lol, I put poison in your cheese! Boy: MOTHER! Boy: *dies*. Mother: Ha, lol!

Doctor, I keep believing I am stuck in the Matrix! Oh thats common, you know existencial crisis and so on but we got medications, you want the blue or the red pill?

Ok soo theres a Jewish Guy, a Christian Guy and a Gay Guy. The Jewish Guy goes Amen The Christian Guy goes Ámen The Gay Guy goes Ammeeeennn

Q: Why did the black man die poor? A: Because he was financially irresponsible and wasted the millions left to him by his father fueling his alcohol addiction, slowly grinding away at his organs until he died of cirrhosis of the liver.

Q:Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: he isn't because 6 and 7 are both concepts that cannot have fear like a living being

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...