whats worse than getting killed by a random tomahawk in COD mostly anything because COD is only a video game

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Q: Why was the mexican mowing the lawn? A: Because the grass was too tall

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Why did the English man walk into a bar? Do get an alcoholic beverage to temporarily forget the pain of his recent divorce.

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your mom's so fat that even the biggest case of cancer couldn't brake through her flubber its so big

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3 black guys walk into a restaurant and they sat down, ate their meals, and even tipped the waitor handsomely then for about 10 minutes they talk and then leave restaurant. Soon after a white guy comes and holds up the place for all it's money then killing three hostages before being taken down by the police.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Well it all started when 7 did something horrible to 8 and 9. Always being used for various things and never getting credit, 7 finally snapped one day at the office. He went home for lunch, which was uncharacteristic for him. He came back with a large duffle bag and a trench coat on. He walked into the the middle of the office and opened the bag and trench coat. The events that followed are now known as the office slaughtering of 1992. 7 ended up gutting 8 alive and eating its intestines. 9 was forced to watch then inch by inch was cut up. His heart was ripped out and shown to him before he died. The body was then thrown into acid, and 7 hung himself with piano wire, but lived. 7 also has herpes and 6 doesnt want anything to do with that shit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house... Knock, knock Who's there? The chicken.

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How to you kill a pizza guy? Shoot him in the face.

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How did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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Why does Chuck Norris own a can named Chuck Norris? because he is self-centered due to all the attention payed to him for virtually no reason at all.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Q. Why was the little boy sad? A. He had a frog stapled to his face.

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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Q: why was the man punched in the face? A: I did like him.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Yo mama is so fat, she needs to get serious about her diet, or else she might die of some sort of weight related issue.

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Whay lawrence pearson ir r8 gay

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Roses are c0ck violets are vag this joke is for george i like it like that<3xxxx

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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A rock walks into a bar. The town goes into extreme panic and is abandoned because rocks are inanimate objects.

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Why did the boy not eat his ice cream? He was addicted to self afflicting. The blood from one of his newer slashes oozed out on the cone which being wafer slowly got soggy. At this point the ice cream slid out of the cone as it was soggy and as he went to eat it, he found an abssence of ice cream. After this unprecedented occurance he gave up with his self harming, so all was good.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a very challenging question.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, he was hit by a car. I lied about him crossing the road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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