What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

Why do black guys always have sex on their mind? Because they are men.

what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

What's the easiest way to get a cat out of a tree? Call the fire department and allow them to safely reach the cat and properly extract it from the tree while you watch from below.

What happened to the boy with no family? He died in a tragic car accident along with his family

Tim and Jim are Telling Jokes Tim: Knock Knock ... Jim does not respond because Tim has a mental disorder causing him to believe in hypothetical doors and thus ignores him so that he does not upset his friend

Why did the girls ice cream melt? She was on fire.

What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Though if the ladder is rickety and she needs someone to steady it for her, two.

a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

I have a really funny joke.

What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He's not, corpses rarely smile

Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a human being and one is an inanimate object that people enjoy sitting on.

What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

A baby seal walks into a club.

A house comes around the corner.

Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

whats funny about four dead horses in a park ? the horses are dead!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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