I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? It is a science fiction show about a time traveller

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Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

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Little Birdy: Are you my mother? Man: No, I'm a murderer. Get in the truck.

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Two cows were in a feild, one said "moo" and the other said "i was going to say that!"

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An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

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you will like this because i am black.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Why did the boy stop singing? Because his lungs collapsed.

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What mouse walks on two legs? Mickey Mouse. What bear walks on two legs? Winnie the Pooh. What duck walks on two legs? All of them, dumbass.

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

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What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

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What's worse; twelve babies in one trash can or one baby in twelve trash cans?

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

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What do you do when you see a hot girl in your bed

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Why did the chicken cross the road So he could get back to the farm and lay more eggs

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A black man walks into a bar in an all white neighborhood. He has a couple of drinks, pays for them, and politely calls a taxi for a ride home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops