Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

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A woman with big boobs walks into a bar and gets raped

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Why did the little girl drop her balloon? Because she was getting raped in the face.

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"What dosen't kill you makes you stronger" Except losing your arms.

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what has fore legs and cant fly a cat you idiot

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Why wouldn't Helen Keller be able to drive if she was alive today? She would be inside her coffin not knowing how to get out

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what do you call some one with no arms and no legs? names.

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Q. Whats black and red all over? A. A black wall thats been painted red.

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a horse walks into the bar. the bartender asks why the long face.

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

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What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

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What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

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What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

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A black guy, a Mexican, an Arab and a white guy walk into a room and embrace cultural diversity.

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What's the difference between an orange and a banana? they're spelled differently

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What's the difference between Hurricane Sandy and Barrack Obama? One is a catastrophic event that resulted in thousands of deaths, countless power outages and homes destroyed, and millions of dollars in damages, and is said to be one of the worst tropical storms to ever hit the nation. The other is the President of the United States, who has put in an unbelievable amount of effort to fix our economy, create jobs, and make America a better place to live. So as you can see, the two things are extremely different. One must wonder why this question was even asked in the first place, as one is a human being and the other is a storm, making any common traits between them almost non-existent.

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Q: Why did the bear fall out of the tree? A: Because humans tranquilized him, brought him to an animal shelter 100 miles away from his home. Then after he got out he got hit by a car and died. PETA is watching.....always

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

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Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops