Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

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What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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A frog, duck, monkey and beaver each enter a bar being carried by a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. If your wondering, the redhead carried two animals.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

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What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are all dead

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

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What happened to the boy who stalked the pretty girl? His father raped him and he died in a house fire induced by his overwhelmingly sick love for the taliban

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Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

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Why didn't the black kid get anything for Christmas? His family was Jewish.

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What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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Roses are red Violets are blue I tryed to hang myself But my neck qad to fat

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How do you make a hormone? Modify bacteria using recombinant DNA technology.

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What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

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What's worse than watching paint dry or grass grow? Watching paint dry on grass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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