Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

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What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

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I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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why did the guy laugh at everything he was high

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How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

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Whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Jay-z

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What did the hitler youth kid get for Christmas? An easy bake oven and a G.I. Jew.

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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What's Black,White and red all over? A black person with a skin disease on her period.

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Roses are brown I likes clouds This joke isn't funny so don't laugh

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

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Knock Knock Who's there? Xiao Kaan Xiao kaan who? Fu*k you ugly lauuhhh

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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Well, its allright then, just tired that is all, leave it be, I mean what if your wife sees it? What will she think?

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ASUS Live Update has stopped working.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What's worse then a missed call from your dad? A missed call from your mom.

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What does the Priest say to the little boy? Size doesnt matter

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What do you call a black man in green shoes and a yellow hat ? Nothing,thats just him pursuing in his own regular casual outfit there for you would just notice him as a normal man walking around with shoes and a hat on so there is nothing to call him

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what looks like a banana? a penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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