A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk, "do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the same duck walks back into the store, and asks the clerk if they have any grapes. The clerk, slightly annoyed, says no again, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back in and asks again if they have any grapes. The pissed off clerk says, "No, and if you ask again i'm gonna nail your feet to the floor. The duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back into the store, and this time he asks the clerk, "do you have any nails?" The clerk says, "Yes." The Duck leaves.

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what happened to the black man that fell of the bridge? he drowned due to the fact the african-americans do not swim very well.

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whats the worst kind of homework? child abuse

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A panda , a cheetah, a dog, a spider, and an eagle are in Antarctica.. The eagle looks around at the other baffled animals and says " What is this????? This isn't right! I'm so confused!"

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What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

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What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

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binladin walks into the american seals

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A man and a midget walk into a bar each carrying a suitcase. They were stopping by after work.

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Whats white and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A refridgerator

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A woman walks into a bar.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple You thought I was going to steal an anti-joke didnt you squidward

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roses are red poo is poo

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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So a man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest of this joke, but your mom is a whore.

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Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

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Why does Joel's breathe smell?

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A man that says YOU SUCK MY DICK YEAH!finds a woman that says YOU SUCK MY BOOB YEAH!They get married,The woman is actually a gay man!

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An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

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A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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A white man and a drunken black man enters the bar, the bartender calls the cop and the black man is dragged into the police car. The black man screams YOU ARE RACIST! YOU DAMN RACISTS! The cops tell him he has been walking around the streets naked the last 2 days... Oooh... I am really sorry sir says the black man. He was forgiven and went sober forever. Moral: No moral, that is the anti moral in this anti joke...and besides I am a W class celebrity.enjoy life

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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Q: Why do black people hate country music? A: Because every time they hear "hoe down" they think someone has shot their sister.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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