What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and looks like a duck? Nothing. Ducks cannot speak, therefore this description negates all known living organisms.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A stranger pulls up next to a little boy walking home from school. The stranger offers the boy a ride home. The boy says yes, gets in the car, and is driven home as promised

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's the difference between celery and a truck?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A man walks into a bar, I forget the rest of this joke and your mother's a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the African-American toddler from Compton get for his birthday? Most likely nothing, seeing as his father left his mother briefly after his birth, and his mother uses all of her money to feed her heroin addiction.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did spongebob say to patrick? Im ready! im ready!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Knock Knock Whos There? I'p I'p who? HAHAHAHA

thumb_up thumb_down -30

penis likes vagina cuz its straight (get it?? it has an erection!!!!!!)

thumb_up thumb_down -30

too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's long and black? A long and black object.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

There is an American, a Mexican, and a Muslim on a plane They give the American the 1 parachute and the Mexican and the north koreon explode

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

write I if you think we should all yell A when dylan says orange.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

what did the dog say to the cat nothing because dogs can`t talk and if they could talk the cat wouldn`t understand him because cats can`t talk

thumb_up thumb_down -36

If you were in a room with Osama bin Laden, Hitler, and a black guy and you had two bullets, who would you shoot? Seeing as this situation is logically impossible considering that Adolf Hitler died in the year 1945 and Osama bin Laden was born in the year 1957, I would be in a room with just a black guy and two bullets. Then I would proceed not to shoot the black guy on the fact that I enjoy the talking and learning about cultural diversities between the black and white races.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

- Helen Keller

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

How do you make a baby cry Throw a brick at its face

thumb_up thumb_down +41

ok guys finish this joke: Im the biggest fag-got because_____________.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why'd the black man smell awful... Because he hadn't showered in multiple days

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A rapist, black guy, and a homophob walk into a bar and the bartender says nice game last night kobe.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops