i am an arrow and i did not hit your knee!f

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Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a worm on the other side. And the more pressing question is why do i watch a chicken in my free time

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what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

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Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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A white horse walks into a bar and orders a bitter. The bartender says "Hey, do you know we've got a drink named after you?" The horse says; "Eeek! A talking cow."

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One linners President Kinnedy did you like the parade President Lincon did you like the play

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An alligator crawled into a bar Animal control is promptly called and he is released in a nearby lake

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What did the little boy get from his parents on Christmas? Nothing. His parents died 2 nights before in a tragic car crash.

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why do german shower have eleven holes? jews have 10 fingers

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Some say Helen Keller can't write a good book. You know what she said? Nothing.

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!!

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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to prove he wasn't chicken

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A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

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why did you read this anti-joke? because you typed in antijoke on google or have the app on a phone

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roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Dot Com.

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What do u call 30000 Mexicans rolling Dow a hill. Hahaha your mom

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What do you call a spoiled black daughter? Tiana (Disney Princess)

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

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My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

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How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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