Q: What race was Jesus Christ? A: None, he's not real

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Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

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Q: What did the vomiting man say to his friend? A: BLEEEAAARRRGGHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to his wife? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the waiter in the restaurant? A: BLAAAAAARGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Leonardo DiCaprio? A: BLEEEEAAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the convenience store clerk? A: BLAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to your mom? A: BLAAAARRRGGGHH!!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Barack Obama? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!! Q; What did the vomiting man say to the King of Saudi Arabia? A: BLAAAAAAAAAAAEEEAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the bartender? A: BLLLEEEEAAAARRGHHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the funeral home director? A: BLLLEEEAAAARRRGGGHHH!!

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A polish guy Is sick of being made fun of for his ethnicity, so he decides that he is going to act Italian thinking that no one makes fun of Italians. He stays home for weeks to practice this and one day walks out, up to a store and says"eh, get me some lasagna and zucchini !" the man at the store asks if he's polish.

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What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

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how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

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A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

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What's old, silver, and smells like old cheese? A fork with old cheese on it.

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An Ethiopian fell into an alligator infested river. He ate 7 of them before he got out.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

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What do you call someone trying to be funny? An anti-comedian.

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im trying to thing of a good joke...oh wait i got one but only one... ok ready?...oh wait...i forgot it again

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Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

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A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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Yolo Pierre because of Etzio tickle shits faggatron and individual nut join forces to become the shit suckers

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Why did the kid poop his pants? He was a baby

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Q: Why was the american flag red, white, and blue? A:Because that's how it is!

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What happened to the woman driver who drove to Tesco? Due to the pleasant traffic conditions, she arrived slightly earlier than expected and she finished her weekly shop in forty minutes. She returned home, once again in good traffic and ate a delicious lunch of sausages and chips.

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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What's just not right? Left

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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