Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

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Why did the elephant get on the roof? To jump in the pool.

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Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

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Two guys fight over a girl. The girl gets up from under them.

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Do you know why the Mexican didn't like hot dogs? I don't know either.

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Why did the prince kiss his beloved just before going into battle? Intermission.

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Whats worse than losing your entire family in a car accident? Luikimia

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What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

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Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? I don't know.

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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roses are red vilits are blue get in the van or i kill you

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What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

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Women's Rights

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What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red shirt.

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what happened to the black man that fell of the bridge? he drowned due to the fact the african-americans do not swim very well.

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A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk, "do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the same duck walks back into the store, and asks the clerk if they have any grapes. The clerk, slightly annoyed, says no again, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back in and asks again if they have any grapes. The pissed off clerk says, "No, and if you ask again i'm gonna nail your feet to the floor. The duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back into the store, and this time he asks the clerk, "do you have any nails?" The clerk says, "Yes." The Duck leaves.

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Uh Oh you just fell, So, So I've got one thing to say to you, And what's that Don't fall it gets you down!!!!!!!!

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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