Why is Timmy afraid of x-rays? The last time Timmy had an x-ray, the radiation was too much for him, giving him terminal cancer, which also explains why he will die in the next 24 hours.

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? Glasses

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What did the old women do when she found her husband dead? She had a heart attack and died as well.

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An anti-joke

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What is blue and has wheels? Grass- I lied about the colour and the wheels.

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Q: What do you say when you see your T.V. floating at night? A: That's so frickin awesome

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

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Non-Anti-Joke.com!

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What do you call a man with no arms? Disabled... some people can be so cruel.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he found out the oreo he slept with last night had aids and he wanted to make sure he didnt get the deadly disease so he went to the doctor to get tested.

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A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

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why wouldn't the man's car work? because it was broken.

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Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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CAN YOU FIND YOUR D I C K YET BOMBER

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Yo mama so fat! She should be concerned because diabetes is a serious problem that can lead to a heart attack. Also STOP EATING MCDONALDS.

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I had an amnesia joke But it was written down on a slip of paper because someone else wrote it down. Let me just take it out & read it to you

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YOUR MOMMA IS SO FAT WHEN SHE JUMPED FOR JOY........she didn't get stuck because there's nothing to get stuck in.

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what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

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The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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