I once saw a small Italian man wearing trainers with a smart suit. He looked like an idiot, but I considered the option that he may not have had any money left after buying the suit to buy shoes. Exercising diplomacy, I left him be and enjoyed a nice meal with he and his trainers.

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i feel like i will die some heroic death, but its more likely i will trip over my dog and choke on a spoonful of frosting.

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How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?. . . . . . No! You open the door, TAKE THE GIRAFFE OUT, and put the elephant in. So, the lion calls a meating in the animal kingdom and who's not there? The elephant, he's in the refrigerator. You have to cross a river infested with crocodiles, and you don't have a boat. How do you get across?. . . . . . No! You get in the river and swim across because the crocodiles are at the meating with the lion!

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Why is Jesse so fat? A horse, Because a cow gives milk thus creating pee wee Herman to jack off at an astonishing speed

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Why did the guy hate the man that said,"I respect you?'' Because the man was Hitler.

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Wanna hear a joke? It's here somewhere You looked :D There ain't jokes on Antijoke.com

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Q:how do you save a black guy from drowning A: you shoot him

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two men write a poem one says quack the other says woof what is the middle of the number witch is amazing because who ever is reading this you are beautiful and have chucken food ion your cheek bone connected to the knee cap indeed i shall write on to you guys saying how lovley it is TO MAKE FIRENDS WITH CHICKENS

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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What did the tree say to the kite? She got hit by a fridge.

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How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a white elephant? No there is no such thing as a white elephant gun. You take it's trunk, then strangle it until it turns blue. Then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Knock knock. Whos there Time to get a watch

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Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

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Why did the boy fall asleep in class? He was tired.

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the world is made out of 4 things. protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons

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womens rights.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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"Do you have Prince Albert in a can?" "No." "Good. Tobacco causes cancer."

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How did the man eat 100 mints in one bite? I'm not sure myself, but we can agree on one thing, his breath is gonna fresh.

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whats worse then a truck full of babies? if it went off a cliff into a canyon full of knives.

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Where would it be hard to find handicapped parking? At the paralympics.

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that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

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Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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Roses are red,violets are blue I've got aids & now so do you Merry Christmas

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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