What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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Who invented chocolate? I don't know! Keep it to yourself.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? ...Neither have they.

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If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

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Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

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why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

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What rhymes with milk...milf

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What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

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Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

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Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

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why does the room smell bad? because there's a dead body under the bed

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When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

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Why is the chicken dead? It tried to cross the road.

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Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: 'Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce.' Watson says: 'Someboby stole our tent.' Holmes and Watson look at each other, shrug and go back to sleep. At least the thief kept their blankets.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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A banker makes some poor economic investments with other people's money. turns out the people can never get the money back. the banker walks away like nothing happened. the government does nothing to prosecute the man. Somewhere in there his wife leaves him.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops