What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

Whats hard and long and used to penetrate women? A hypodermic needle.

What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

Why was the little boy sad? Both of his parents died in a tragic car accident.

If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

1-"What's the worst thing about a joke?" 2-"The stupid punchlines at the end" 1-"No-- when someone dies and can't live to tell it..." (laughter) 3-"What joke you guys laughing at." 2-"None of you're business" 3-"Damn I really wanted to know" 1-"Didn't we all."

whats the difference between a frog and a toad ones a frog

What did the man say to the other man. Hi

bite me

What's worst then a road kill? Multiple road kils.

roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

Roses are crimson. Violets are purple. I don't understand why this poem is so popular.

Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

pobody's nerfect

What do you call a black guy doing community service? Someone who wanted to give back. Stop being racist.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...