Why is it good to date twenty eight year olds? Because there is twenty of them.

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Knock knock? Who's There? I AMMM!!! (thumb this down please xD)

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office, naked but wrapped in Saran Wrap. The Doctor takes one look at him and says, "I can clearly see your nuts."

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Why didn't the door open? Because it was locked

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Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

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Reilly and Ross went up to fetch a pale of water when a triceratops turned them into bagels then ate them and later crapped them out....

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knock knock... ...no answer

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What did a husband do when he came home to find his wife murdering their children? Nothing. There is no excuse for domestic violence.

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why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

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Why didn't Avery die when he got hit by a bus? The bus was going three miles per hour.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a girl? Consensual sexual intercourse between two young adults.

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an irishman an american and a jihadist get a plane were did they go right through my house

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What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

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It's that time of the month again... ...to cut my toenails.

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why do german shower have eleven holes? jews have 10 fingers

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

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How many apples do you end up with if your dog is a golden retriever who got raped by a giant scorpion? A jail

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

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What dinosaur makes honey? The Bee Rex.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sky diving? I don't know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance.

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The closest I've been to an animal charity was when I walked past it to by myself a fur coat

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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you cant spell slaughter withought laughter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops