A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a motorboat. They are sucked into the propeller and brutally disfigured instantly.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Yo mamma so fat not even Dora can explore her

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the man eat his wife? He was a cannibal

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How many TV shows are there? A lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

-What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?white vans

thumb_up thumb_down -6

- How do you save a black man from drowning? - I don't know - Good!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man walks into a bar, buys a pint of beer, talks to his friends for while and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: What do you say to a person in a wheelchair who fall downs the stairs? A: Nothing because most likely they would take an elevator.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus? Trying not to laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

thumb_up thumb_down -6

how many black people does it take to complete the simplest task such as washing their own hair? A shitload! thats why slavery was so populer back in the day. (and gays were big then to because they had to shower together to remember to wash their hair.)

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Golf.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why were Billy's parents laughing at him? Because he was just diagnosed with cancer!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the pregnant Mexican cross the border? Nobody knows. She was shot down on site.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Nero: Farewell to my past last part aka No more forced psychiatric evaluations for me. My psychiatric evaluator asked me why I consider myself a souless demon and not a man. My answer was: My mothers name was Maria, my brothers name is Kristoffer and my real father (which I only met once which was meaningless) is a Chatolic priest. Then I showed her (my psychiatric evaluator) my passport, my name is not Nero Angelo, nor whatever my parents might have told others but rather Angelo Nero. So lets conclude shall we? Nero Angelo = Angel black. and some Capcom shit. Angelo Nero = Says on my birth certificate, means Black Angel. Kristoffer= The sacrifice of Christ my half brother. Ricardo my non real father = which has nothing to do with Josef... Thank F*CK! So yeah, some of you might recognize me, but I have not met any family members the last 16 years, so if you where planing to judge me the next time you see me, you better run instead, because I will... "pacify" you for just watching while my parents waterboarded me, for just standing there while my mother tried excorzise me away while beating the crap out of me. I WILL "remove you, forever" the only family I got, are my 2.755 or so members of my movement Neronism, and my wife`s family, this is not a threat.... ...Its a promise to me, and to you. Make no mistake though, Neronism has over 60.000 members worldwide, but I dont care about them, enough is enough. Maria: My birthmother which claimed long before I was born that she was a virgin and as thus that she was giving birth to the anti-christ. (me, thanks mom) Then my psychiatric evaluator asked me if I truly believed I was a demon, where I told her that "human" is just a term, and that I know that calling myself a demon is just a way of coping with my past. She suggested that now that my troubles/parents are over/dead, that my need for her or anyone evaluating me further is over and she jokingly rated me a 100 percent "fresh" when I asked her if I was still a rotten tomato, so I am officially out from the "realm" of psychiatry (which I was forced to after killing my father in self defense). Its been fucking 27 years since, bt finally I am fucking happy... And the hell if there is humanity left in me... >:) M.Biso... I mean Nero. Merry christmas everybody, I know mine is not so bad after all... ill probably spend more time here, but farewell for now, and finally I can scratch the shit out of my ortopedic arm without getting PTSD`s of my non real father tearing my head off... AAAAAAAAAND all is good... Except the fucking itch...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Wanna hear a joke? Women's Basketball

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats worse than the holocaust A: not much

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops