Kid 1: Mama why is my name Daisy? Mama: Because when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head! Kid 2: Mama why is my name Rose? Mama: Becuase it was a nice name.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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Why couldn't Jimmy have his birthday party at the park? Because little Jimmy passed away several months ago from the result of a vicious genocide committed by a man who didn't properly understand the affect that maiming human beings has on the friends and family members of the person; he was sentenced to jail for a fair and reasonable time for the punishment of the crime he committed in the past.

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What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

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Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

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why was the boy sad? there was a frog stapled to his face.

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what did spiderman say before he saved mary jane? ill save you mary jane.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

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What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

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A boy's parents buy him a Wii for Christmas. The boy hangs himself the next day because you need arms to play Wii.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 eight 9

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People really hate it when sentenses don't end the way elephants wear hats

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What did the no-arm, no-leg, paraplegic orphan with cancer get for christmas? Pregnant.

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What do you call white people on a bench? NBA What do you call black people on a bench? RTA

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it was a black guy a white guy a chinese guy a french guy an arab guy an irish guy and a juncky that was too much for a joke

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HELLO EVERYONE

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what is the best invention ever created ? ............ PORN !!!!

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Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

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Q: What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? A: Shoveling them out with a pitchfork.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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