What do you call a bear in the rain? A wet bear.

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Did the Jewish surgeon charge extra for circumcisions? Nope, he just kept the tips

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Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

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What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Niether did she

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What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? 3 bee stings.

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Why did Teresa fall off the swing? She had no arms. Who is knocking at the door? Not Teresa.

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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What makes us laugh? Definitely not this joke!

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what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

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Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

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The blonde is in the park withb a rope a man passes and says what are u doing, she says im goin o hang and kill myself. the next day the man comes back and sees the blonde there alive he says i thought u were goin hang yourself she says i tried but i couldnt breathe.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

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What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple You thought I was going to steal an anti-joke didnt you squidward

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How come Asian's are so clever? Their baby food is blended textbook paste.

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Why did the white man buy a new pair of socks? His old ones has holes.

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Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the head repeatedly

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What's worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The holoca- *the man hearing the joke then pulls out a desert eagle and shoots the man in the chest before finishing the joke then goes to jail for the rest of his life*

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What's the difference between a black guy and a bucket of chicken? A lot.

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so a blind man walks into a bar, then a chair, then a table.

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a black guy walks into a bar and sits next to a white guy. White guy: "I don't like your kind here". Black guy: "what kind wound that be"? White guy: "the colored kind". The black guy turns away then looks back at the white guy and says", When I'm born I'm black, when I die I'm black, When I'm cold I'm black, and when I'm sick I'm black. You ( to the white guy ) when your born your pink, when you die your blue, when your cold your purple, and when your sick your green and your calling me colored???

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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