What did the child say after the priest touched him? Thank you for the ashes Father, have a blessed Lenten season.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what's the only thing worse than losing a pen before a test? getting raped by a pedifile. -teagan doherty-

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why don't you hit a black guy riding a bike? Because that is dangerous and he could get hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I once met a giraffe, It needed a bath, When I turned on the water, It started to swim, Because it was actually a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

An English man, Irish man and a Scotsman walk into a bar. And have a wonderful evening of multicultural entertainment and fun together.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q:Why did the dwarf shout abuse at the bus driver? A: He had anger issues, and the price of the ticket was quite unreasonable.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

An Irish man sips at a large beer. Oh yeah and your mother's a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was Charles bleeding, because he was stabbed in the head with a needle

thumb_up thumb_down -15

dalas rof rezilitref taerg a si citsalp. Read it from right to left.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why'd the blonde jump out the window? To kill herself

thumb_up thumb_down -15

knock knock who's there? hope

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what is red and smells like paint red paint

thumb_up thumb_down -15

The dog, Marley from Marley and Me. It died.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's sicker than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill death ratio

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Too many because they are babies and they don't have the motor skills to properly use a paintbrush.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do a black man and a dog have in common? They're both going to die some day.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

roses are red violets are blue ill keep u in my heart forever and ower baby to

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A grandma starts pinching her grandsons cheeks and saying who's a little cutie pie the baby begins to bleed cause his grandmas nails are peircing his skin

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Grease is the word that you heard it's got groove it's got meaning

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I am the best i am the worst My wife was buried in hearse

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops