Knock, Knock Who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill your neighbor. Can I have some flour?

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

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Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

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Why didn't the mexican make the basketball team? He had never practiced and was overweight

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

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Why did you mom shop at Wal-Mart? She had a coupon

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What happens if a Muslim leaves their bag on a bus? They quickly return onto the bus and get it.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

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Two muffins are in an oven one muffin says to the other muffin "It's hot in here" the other muffin says "Holy crap a talking muffin".

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Why did the old man die? He was old.

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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1,000 people get out of a plane , who hits the ground first? The DEAD guy!!!!

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A man jumped off a bridge. He went bungee jumping with his family and had a great time.

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Why did the boy have to ride the bus? Because both his parents died.

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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