What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

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What do you call an overly-sexual, chewbacca-like creature that smokes cocaine and shoots heroin, while beating its offspring? Mom.

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why was the boy sad his whole family just died in a plane crash

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he found out the oreo he slept with last night had aids and he wanted to make sure he didnt get the deadly disease so he went to the doctor to get tested.

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Why did the bakery run out of the business? They weren't making enough dough

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Know what's worst than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Obama

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What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

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Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his forehead. Why did the little boy have a frog stapled to his forehead? Because Johnny just can't drive. Why can't Johnny drive? He has no arms and legs. Why does Johnny have no arms and legs? Cause Johnny is a potato! Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? Because he got ran over by a bus. But who was driving the bus? Johnny the potato!

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I used to get on Facebook, then someone asked me to save a child in Africa by liking a picture of Jesus or ignore it and go to hell

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What do you call a man with no arms? Disabled... some people can be so cruel.

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What's even better than finding 10 bucks in your pocket? Getting into heaven.

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What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

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A guy walks into a bar. He must have been blind or something.

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This person shaved their head to gain attention. A klansman.

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your friend is so gay that he cuts of dicks as his part time job. and enjoys it.

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There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

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What did the white man say to the black bartender? I'll have a pint please.

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer..... Just Kidding! He got a bike!

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what goes ha ha ha ..plop? We are all going to die.

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What's big and messy? A big mess

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Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She was too tired and was afraid that if she got behind the wheel it might cause her to fall asleep at the wheel which would result in an accident.

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what do you call a million black people on the moon? a good start

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Hey have you seen Stevie wonders house? No? Don't worry he has'nt either.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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