How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a shovel 17 times

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what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

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What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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Why is six afraid of seven? SE7EN!

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

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Q:what did the 14 year old girl from Tennessee say to her dad when she lost her virginity? A: Get off of me

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How many wheelchair users does it take to change a light bulb? - They are not physically capable

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How do you know when you're on the wrong side of the tracks? You don't. (Wyndellberg)

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Why couldn't the farmer drive his tractor He had no arms why didn't he have arms Because he was a potato

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

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Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

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Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

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Man: Am i going to be alright? Doctor: No, you're going to die.

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Why is this the worst joke ever? Because it isn't even funny.

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Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

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why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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Q: what's green and has wheels? A: a john deere tractor

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What's the difference between an Elephant and a Post Box? An Elephant is not a Post Box. It is an Elephant.

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so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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