Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

thumb_up thumb_down -6

So this guy was making a sandwich...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

whats worse than finding a dead cat in your kitchen? a dead cat in your bedroom

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Part 1 Q: what did Sally get for Christmas A: cancer Part 2 knock knock Who's there Not Sally MR

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the mexican cross the street? Because the next lawn to mow was in a different neighborhood

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why do birds fly South in the winter? Warmer, better food sources and therefore greater chance of survival.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call an Arabic man who crashed a plane into a business building? A careless pilot whose recklessness caused him to crash into a building. His stupidity and lack of plane control skill led to a horrible accident that involved the death of thousands of innocent people and the death of many business people's office pets.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why was the 6 afraid of the 7? because 7 was a registered 6 offender.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Dislike if you are a prostitute

thumb_up thumb_down -6

An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

thumb_up thumb_down -6

if u ever get arrested by cop, just tell the cop this: "No no officer, you got it all wrong. It was only a game. It's called RAPE."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you do when you find a blonde on her knees? Help her up, because obviously she has fallen.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roger D. ASS , stops, has a ponder , and walks out of a s.t.i clinic ,without being seen

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A hooded black man walks into a Convenience store. He orders a cup of hot chocolate as it is very cold outside.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Ask me Whats 2+2. ? Ok what's 2 plus 2 4 you dumb ass

thumb_up thumb_down -6

There once was a man from Nantucket. He was among thousands of men who were also from Nantucket.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops