Knock Knock Who's there? Tank tank who? You're welcome

Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

Yes

Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

As we had been trying for some months now, I called my wife to ask her the result of her pregnancy test. A stranger answered and promptly told me she was killed in a car crash.

A blonde, a brunette and a red head are having a discussion on current issues. The brunette says she would like to see improvements in the environment. The red head says she would like to see the economy prosper. The blonde says she has to take a poop.

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

Fun Fact: If you lay out all of the veins in your body out, You will die

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 beat the crap out of 8.

Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

a blonde does something stupid. she dies. its funny.

why was the boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face

Whats big and blue and white and if it falls from a tree its sure to kill you. A fridge with a denim jacket on.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

Why did Doris need a hip replacement Because she fell down the stairs

Why didn't the 12-year old boy eat his birthday cake? He has diabetes and would likely die from the increased spike in insulin.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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